Big Mouth

Happy Sunday night! We had a busy weekend with Mario getting over that stomach bug thing and then all the weekend things: family, church today and a gig at LACMA for Mario. We just got home. I hugged the dog, and here I am at the computer!

Inside LACMA Lights

Looking up!

This was about four hours ago!

So tonight is going to be brief as possible (ok, it might be long), but I wanted to put it out there that it’s occurred to me that I have a pretty big mouth. I had a few conversations this week where I did too much talking and not enough listening and it got me in trouble. And then an argument with my husband on Friday night where I just let my big mouth get out of control. I’m not proud to say these things, and I do know the verse that says, “…For out of the abundance of the heart the man speaks” Luke 6:45b. I don’t know about you, but I feel awful after stuff like this. It’s not all the time that it’s like this but it’s been more frequent in this last week and since I’m in the Bible study, “Discerning the Voice of God” with the women at my church I know it’s God telling me I’ve got something going on in my heart. Now the question is, “Am I willing to let God get in my business?” I will tell you my answer is “Yes!” Because if there’s one thing I know it’s that I need to change. I want to change more into the woman God created me to be. So that means I’ve got to be humble and open my eyes to the things that aren’t great to look at in my character. I know I’m not a malicious person, and I’m not just beating myself up here over my recent failures. But I want to be honest with God, myself and others. It is hard to be wrong, but so is staying stuck and thinking you’re right. Since I started walking with God my perspective is that I’d rather it be hard as long as it gives me more depth and integrity. I believe if you’re not growing as a person, it’s not that you’re just not growing – you’re regressing, and I don’t want that for my life.

Before church started today I was sharing a little bit about my week with my friend, and she said, “We’re in a war and fighter’s train by being hit. They train to build endurance by the blows so they can withstand the whole fight.” That resonated with me that it’s not just about getting knocked down, it’s about the getting up and getting back in there. That’s the overcoming part. So we’ve been knocked down a bit, let’s choose to get back in the fight and keep pressing forward. As God’s children, “We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us.” Romans 8:37

I also got the opportunity to sing worship today at church. After what I allowed to come out of my mouth this week it occurred to me that it could be used for good too – even if I’d blown it this week. God’s grace is that wonderful. He knows I am sorry and don’t want to dishonor Him. He knows I’m weak and need Him. He knows I fail. But He created me, created us – not failure, but for victory, for overcoming. 

Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful week!

With all my heart,

Sonia