Rejection vs. Validation

IMG_1296.jpgGood morning! My view at 6:15am

I admire confidence in people. I am often drawn to people who possess a strong sense of self and have incredible courage. In speaking with one of these people (with the courage/confidence thing in abundance) they started explaining a current situation they are in where the person they look up to the most has recently mocked them and made them feel “like a loser”.

My tough friend reluctantly spoke of this with tears streaming down their face. Oh, the sting of rejection. This is some of what was said, “All my life I looked up to him. I wanted him to respect me…to see how much I’ve accomplished…to know that I’m not a loser. I thought we could have a relationship where we respected each other, and he just mocks me.”  There’s more to this story…years and years of passive aggressiveness on all sides etc. It’s complicated for sure but what struck me was that this quietly confident human being was being crushed by someone laughing at them.

Why? Why does rejection hurt like that? I could see that this pain that my friend is going through is touching something deep and old. You can’t even fault the other person for that because this message that sits somewhere deep inside us has nothing to do with “them” and everything to do with what we believe about ourselves.

My courageous and confident friend has a broken place deep down inside. We all do. Broken things need to be dealt with and fixed right? So how does this happen in our hearts and minds and souls, especially when we don’t know something is broken.

This way…this is the way…the rejection themes, the heartbreak things. Our hearts get broken and then we see some of what’s inside so it can be fixed by the Healer of all hearts.

I know this sounds so flowery and “churchy,” but it is true. Jesus heals the broken stuff from the woman at the well and her feelings of shame and rejection (John 4) to the apostle Paul and his feelings of superiority and overcompensating to prove something of himself (Acts 9). I wouldn’t be able to write about it myself if it didn’t happen to me. This is the hope we carry. The fact that we have met Jesus, and He assures us that a great exchange has taken place: our old life with its filth and futility for His perfect love and purpose.

For my heartbroken friend and for myself and maybe for you too, this rejection is for an ultimate good, a truth beyond what our feelings can see is being seared into us if we allow the hurt to have purpose and not shut down. Feel the pain and trust in God. His love and gentleness will give the strength to rise from the heap of heartbreak. And rise we will to shine in the light of His love for us.

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!

TGIF everyone! Have an adventurous and sweet day with our Lord!