The Discipline of Looking for Joy

Incredibly difficult circumstances exist in everyone’s lives. It does not matter who you are, where you live, what’s in your bank account – if you’re breathing, you’ve got some hard places in this life. I know I’ve got my list. You’ve got yours. We could compare notes and wonder if yours is worse or mine is, but I don’t think it is a matter of whose is worse…difficult is difficult. Heartbreak looks different for everyone. It might be a million little things, two or three things or one really long, “no end in sight” trial. What is the same, the common theme in all of these differing landscapes, is that it’s hard. Some days I wake up, like today, and the sun is shining as I am coloring my roots (hair up in a bun, with the roots all glistening with Madison Reed dark brown slathered all over my hairline as I type), and all seems okay – not so bad. Other days, it feels like the list of difficulties is all I see no matter what I try to get myself into a different mindset. I realize that this is normal for all of us. Some days are just better or harder than others. Life, right?.

At first glance you may think I am a “glass half full” kind of woman, but let me be honest here, that is not the whole story. My natural tendency is what’s called a “negative Nelly” (or is it Nellie?). My husband, optimist – go with the flow. Me, pessimist – so NOT “go with the flow.” We do balance each other out, but here is the thing about that negative mindset, it messes with you and robs every sliver of joy and peace. It makes you eventually doubt that all things work together for good (Romans 8:28), and things like bitterness and hardness of heart start being your guide.

The other morning I woke up early in the morning, negative Nelly was making coffee and thinking of all that hasn’t gotten better or all that is not the way I wanted it to be. I sat down on the couch and opened my journal and started to write. I thought about our brain and how it is a muscle and how training muscles is discipline and then the phrase, “The discipline of looking for joy” came to mind. I wrote it down and have not stopped thinking about it since. This blog is named after a life changing story in the Bible in John chapter 4. It is my story. I love this passage. Well, that negative Nelly morning, after writing in the journal, I opened up my daily devotional reading for April 16th and what was on the bottom of the page for “further study and encouragement” – none other than JOHN 4:1-26. I buried my head in the couch and bawled my eyes out right there.

In the quietness of that morning, where no one could see the struggle in my mind and the thoughts of that discipline-joy thing, God saw and pointed to the very story He knows brings me joy. It was like He was saying, “Just look for it, the joy, it is always there to be found no matter what.” Yes suffering will never go away, oh but the joy – the joy – the joy, when we look for it, we find it. I guess that’s how I should end this post. Joy – it’s a discipline. How do we get disciplined in looking for it? Well, I’ll have to follow up with another post as to what that looks like for me and how it’s going, but a good place to start is – simply ask God. Your “how” might look different than mine. Oh, and another fun fact about this story, believe me when I say that this song popped in my head OUT OF NOWHERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDXnqmgtp7sI have heard it in movies before, I think, but I never paid attention to the words. Give it a listen, God didn’t have to be any more clear. That’s all for today! Thank you for reading. Until next time… hopefully I will write sooner for this next post 🙂

With all my heart,

Sonia

Attention Please (can also be referred to as “A ‘TENSION’ Please”)

How’d we all do with the Thanksgiving festivities (or lack thereof)? This year, like all years (and like most people, I’m pretty sure) looked different. How do you do when different isn’t necessarily what you wanted? Do you resist the change, lament over the past, resent the new normal? I have so many questions this Black Friday morning. I am sans coffee as I type so that’s my disclaimer before I go any further in my post! Read on, if you dare.

I’ll be honest here, my changes for this holiday were not what I wanted. Without going into all the private family details, I will share that key people were missing for me. There was a void – a big one, and amidst all the food prep and sweet moments that did take place, this void loomed so largely that I couldn’t concentrate on anything else for most of the day. It felt like I was in a strange dream scape that I would wake up from at some point, but instead, the whole day passed with this uneasiness and tension in my soul that camped out for good.

By the time the dishes were washed, the clock showed near midnight, I was looking forward to one thing: that tomorrow wouldn’t be today. Before turning out the light I opened up my phone and found this insta post from Jackie Hill Perry (if you don’t know who she is – Google her!!)

This was a profound reminder to me that the tension in our lives demands attention – not for nothing – but, so that we can choose. That’s when I looked up this verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:18
“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Right there at the end of the day with the new day dawning was this BIG truth: THIS was God’s will for me. He has something going on behind the scenes that I know nothing about, but He does and that’s what matters. I can choose to be thankful in all that I can see is happening, at the same time I can choose to have faith for everything else.

In The Chosen series Mary Magdalene says this line, “I was one way, and now I am completely different, and the thing that happened in between was Him.”

We are in the “in between” and the tension along the way is His will for our lives. The outcome of all of this is that we will be changed, more into the image He created. That’s the sweet spot of tension, CHANGE.

We can be thankful for the GREAT CHANGE. Thanksgiving 2022 taught me so so much, and I am truly grateful because God allowed the tension that got my attention in the very best way. For those of you with those voids too, I am praying for you this morning. Whatever healing you need, God is waiting to bind up. Thank you for reading today. Have a super thankful Black Friday!

With all my heart, Sonia

Happy International Women’s Day ~ 2022

Dedicated to those fighting the good fight, you have been given the gift of setting the world entire on fire with a passionate love that only God could give. Keep fighting.

To the woman at the well: Keep telling people to come see a man who told you everything you ever did and loves you still. (John 4:29,39)

To the single mom/widow/single woman: Keep following Jesus. He’s got you. (Judges 4:9)

To the businesswoman living out your faith: Keep your hand to that plow. He is multiplying all you do. (Acts 16:14)

To the woman in the process of healing: Keep accepting His grace. Go and sin no more. (John 8:1-12)

To the woman making courageous decisions to help her family: Keep breaking those unhealthy cycles. God honors your brave. (Joshua 2)

To the woman working side by side with your husband in ministry: Keep living out that unity. It’s a good, good thing. (1 Corinthians 16:3-4)

To the woman standing up to tyrants all over the world: Keep resisting. Your courage saves. (Exodus 1:17-18)

To the woman stuck in an impossible situation: Keep using the wisdom God gave you. Your voice matters. “And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

To the women who wake up tired and go to sleep exhausted, He sees us and He gives us the strength we need to set the world on fire (Proverbs 31:10-31)

Happy Day, Ladies!

With all my heart, Sonia

P.S. (And for those of us married or coupled up – thank you to the godly men (Shout out to mine! MARIO!) who help us become all we are meant to be).

Cats & Dogs

Fiona, pretty in pink

The wonderful team at Vet Emergency Group in Encinitas

Happy First Blog Post of 2022! I’m sitting in the car waiting for Mario while he’s at the chiropractor’s office so I decided there’s no time like the present to write this blog post that has been swirling around in my mind since New Year’s Eve!

For any new readers out there my name is Sonia. My husband and I have had a pitbull rescue, Fiona (the Fawn), for three years. This is our second rescue. We previously had a pitbull named Luna for over 10 years before adopting Fiona. Fiona is a special case. The humane society told us that she had probably escaped from an illegal puppy mill where she was bred too young and too often. In her little life she’s had lots of health issues and behavioral problems, but we love her.

Rewind to New Year’s Eve six days ago when Mario and I decided to visit some friends for the evening. Upon returning home I had this sinking feeling that Fiona may have had an issue with her anxiety because the fireworks that were going off in nearby neighborhoods were Fourth of July level fireworks.

Sure enough, upon entering the house I found pieces of wood from our door trim and blood all over the floor but no sign of Fiona. I waited downstairs while Mario followed the trail of blood up the stairs and found her at the top of the stairs standing there with what looked like a huge gash in her abdomen. I am not kidding when I say it looked like a crime scene! I broke down crying while Mario put an old sheet around her and carried her into the car.

We drove to Veterinary Emergency Group in Encinitas, one of the few emergency vet hospitals open on New Years night. I cannot stress enough how amazing they were there! After imaging and testing the vet said that Fiona’s wound was superficial so they would be able to stitch her up and send us home with meds. We were there until 10:30am since they were so busy.

During that time we saw cats and dogs – some in the lobby and some in kennels recuperating, and it struck me that none of them were fighting with each other. While we sat there waiting I told Mario that they weren’t fighting with each other because they were all sick and just trying to get well and that’s the problem with the church right now.

I feel like we have forgotten that we are all sick and just trying to get well. The church is supposed to be a healing place for those needing help and in most cases it has become something else, a system of our own making where infighting is the norm. As the world gets more polarized, the church seems to do the same.

For this year Mario and I made the decision to continue in the direction that God has us going and that means pushing against any religious man made system, against our own destructive perceptions/habits and pushing against any fear of moving forward in faith. We are purposing to be intentional in the little things God wants us to be obedient in and to keep at it!

Okay, quick update…after I started writing this Mario and I had a hard day together. We fought after going to Costco! We fought like cats and dogs, literally. I’ll spare you the details..this post is long enough, but we did talk it over and got on the same page. That’s the thing about healing, you want to do it alone, but you really can’t. We need each other, and we need God’s grace for that healing. So we pray for revival and that starts with us, and it starts with you.

To end this post I just want to say that this is a year of continuing what you started! Get healthier in every way. Keep going! In order to get better we need to see what God has been showing us about healing. We are all sick in some way and need to be focused on getting well. Focus on the Healer. Focus on the healing that only God can give & then share it with a world in desperate need of it.

Happy 2022, friends! The best is yet to come!

With all my heart,

Sonia

All things PINK

Happy Tuesday, one day closer to Friday. Just a reminder that there are 10 Tuesdays left this year so some quick math will tell you 2022 will be here before we know it. I took the day off from writing yesterday to get to the truly adult task of cleaning out desk drawers and organizing them. We let it go a little too long this time and the necessary mail got mixed in with the junk mail so it was a bigger job than it needed to be. It feels therapeutic to get rid of junk & since there’s no school for me this week I am committed to getting rid of junk. I’ll let you know on Friday how it went 🙂 Stay tuned…

Today’s blog post was going to be called, “The Girl in the Pink Pajamas” because of a story I told a group of friends about getting my first Bible in catechism and how I thought I had to look my most best and most perfect self so I took a shower, put on the fanciest, silk-like pink pajamas I had and opened up to the book of Genesis and got as far as the genealogies and that was it. I couldn’t go on – just didn’t understand it and thought even my fanciest pink pajamas couldn’t do the trick so that was that. My worst seven-year old fears came true in that moment, “I am just not good enough to read the Word of God.” I believed that for almost 35 years until 2009 when everything changed.

Fast forward to my 47 year old self this year, struggling with hormones, insomnia and all the fun things this time of life throws at women, and I was up in the middle of another sleepless night. I decided, instead of tossing and turning for hours on end, I would be productive and go downstairs and do some Bible study homework. It was right in the middle of reading when I looked at my legs underneath the Bible and study book on my lap.

I WAS WEARING PINK PAJAMAS!

It was like a light bulb moment in the middle of the night with God. He made good on that desire in my seven-year old heart to make the words of the Bible come alive. My insomnia moment turned into one of the sweetest moments of my life (insert all the pink heart emojis here ❤ ).

Then today I was reading in Lisa Harper’s book, “LIFE: An Obsessively Grateful, Undone by Jesus, Genuinely Happy, and Not Faking it Through the Hard Stuff Kind of 100- Day Devotional”, when I came to Day 46 called Hurling Love Right Back, a powerful read. Please do yourself a wonderful favor and buy it as a gift to you & then buy a copy for someone else https://www.amazon.com/Lisa-Harper-Book-2/dp/1433691957/ref=sr_1_2?crid=11X8IJV2UJEQ0&dchild=1&keywords=life+lisa+harper+devotional&qid=1634671402&sprefix=life+lisa+har%2Caps%2C234&sr=8-2

How does this tie in? Well the book is PINK ❤ and it reminded me of the lovely grace of God and His faithfulness. The powerful words from today’s devotional based on 1 John 2:9-11 reminding us how to treat one another – the purpose of forgiving and giving grace, to live in the light (and if God colors the light pink for you, all the better):

^9-11 Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark. It’s the person who loves brother and sister who dwells in God’s light and doesn’t block the light from others. But whoever hates is still in the dark, stumbles around in the dark, doesn’t know which end is up, blinded by the darkness

My prayer for you today is to have a gentle day, gentle with yourself and with others (as much as it is possible) gentleness, for His gentleness has made you great (Psalm 18:35)

Gentle as we go,

Sonia

Hope is Dope

Happy Friday, friends! I don’t have much time to write this morning and maybe that’s a good thing since I have been long-winded this week.

I woke up and checked my emails and had one from I Am Second Films so I watched some of the films. I’ve some before and they’re truly inspiring so I wanted to share one here this morning:

Jason Castro, Part 2

That’s part 2 of his story. There is a part 1 on the site if you care to watch that as well. I wanted to share this because I know we all struggle against something – whatever your “something” is & I wanted to say that there is hope. Shame doesn’t need to define you or hold you down. There are people walking around today FREE from their chains of addictions and destructive behaviors, like Jason Castro, like me, like many others I know. One thing I know: hope in Jesus is the only way to truly live.

Made some mistakes? Not proud of some parts of your story – maybe all of your story? Good! There’s hope for that!

I absolutely love this quote from Lysa Terkeurst’s book Trustworthy, “Learning deeper trust in God doesn’t often happen in straight lines of obedience. It’s when we cycle through trials, tripping and sometimes falling, that we realize our desperate need for Him. Knowing our need for Him leads us to putting our trust in Him.”

See what I mean? Hope is dope.

Have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for reading, sharing, liking and commenting. I appreciate you so much! Looking forward to meeting up here on Monday.

Hoping with you,

Sonia

Problem with Authority

Happy Friday Eve 🙂 This post is inspired by the most recent assignment in my psychology class. To quote from the ABC News special, A Touch of Evil, “In 1961 Dr. Stanley Milgram came up with this experiment to test whether people would blindly follow the order of an authority figure. He found that 2/3 of his subjects were willing to give the most dangerous shock on the machine.” Fascinating but chilling study information – you can read about here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

In 2009 ABC News worked with Dr. Jerry Burger, a social psychologist at UC Santa Clara, to recreate the study to see if people had changed 45 years later.

Watch ABC’s findings here & then please come back to this blogpost to see where this is going: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=HwqNP9HRy7Y

Authority & those that blindly follow…ok, deep breath for me as I keep writing and make this personal. I confess I have a problem with authority. At times, it can be a very detrimental thing in my life, but at others it has saved me and helped those around me. So what’s the difference? How do we obey when we’re supposed to – who we’re supposed to? When do we say no and stand up to authority?

Now, more than ever, we need to be looking at who we obey and why. We cannot afford to be blind. The scary thing about the most recent experiment is that they found that people obeyed at the same rate they did 45 years ago. Which brings to mind that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

Many of us Christians have recently studied or are studying the life of Elijah. Prime example of someone who did not blindly follow and stood up to authority. You can read all about him in the Bible in 1 Kings (here’s another resource as well: https://www.gotquestions.org/life-Elijah.html )

The Bible is full of men and women who stood up to authority and led people out of oppression and saved others at great cost to them physically, socially, economically but they were compelled to do the right thing in the face of the wrong kind of authority. Just look up the lives of Moses, Rahab, David, Deborah, Esther, all the prophets, John the Baptist, Paul, Peter. The list is long but there’s one thing they all had in common, a higher calling. In James 5:17 he states, “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours..” Let’s read that last part again, …”with a nature like ours.”

We know that these people were flawed like us. For example Elijah got spooked by Jezebel. Peter denied Jesus three times. The disciples fled the scene when Jesus got arrested and the list goes on and on with that too but they persevered. They figured out how to walk in the full power, boldness and confidence of the living God. They made the choice to lay down their lives for the greater good and that starts with thinking – thinking for yourself, asking God, listening to God, reading the Word, praying for wisdom, prayer with others for direction & confirmation, believing and having faith in the unseen and listening for the Lord’s guidance, denying your tendencies towards comfort, humbling yourself – swallowing your pride and going through the sometimes agonizing spiritual bootcamp of victories and defeats.

It means stepping out from the crowd, separating yourself. It means giving up your quest for popularity and recognizing our higher calling, the higher purpose and Who our true authority is. Jesus Christ.

Right now the lyrics from the song “Popular” from the musical Wicked popped into my head, “

“When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf to think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or ‘specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!They were popular!
Please, it’s all about popular!
It’s not about aptitude
It’s the way you’re viewed
So it’s very shrewd to be
Very, very popular like me!“

Unlike “Glinda” in Wicked, I want to have brains and knowledge, and I believe you do too. So let’s think and follow God and lead. Let’s not be people pleasers, but God pleasers. If you battle, like I do, your tendencies towards having a problem with authority just know that’s not a bad thing. We just have to be motivated by the right reasons and then focused in the right way. God is not looking for perfect. He is looking for willing and that I am, and if you’re on this journey too, than that you are as well.

That’s why the phrase, “Don’t drink the kool aid” exists! Let’s not drink the kool aid!!

If you need some musical inspiration today, have listen to Moriah Peters “Brave“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xWBuWtC8MY

Thanks for reading today and let’s end this week being brave!

Thinking and questioning with you,

Sonia

I Have a Friend

I know it’s only October but it was 41 degrees this morning

Happy Wednesday! Here we are middle of the week. How was yesterday? If you read Tuesday’s post you know I confessed that I was having a tough day mentally. I texted a friend this asking her to pray for me, “Prayer request for me today. I’m struggling today with just tons of negative thoughts & don’t want to stay there. Got to let go and let God.” I sent that text a little before noon and then drove to Carlsbad to run some errands. As soon as I got in the car I was alone with my thoughts again. I immediately thought who can I call to talk this through or pray this away or just get out of my own head. My mind went through the list of people that would be available to talk at that time when all of a sudden the thought occurred to me, “I should just look to God. I should cry to Him, listen to worship songs and give Him this moment. Focus on Jesus.” So that’s what I did. I just turned on a radio station, I think it was 92.1 and songs were playing that had me just thanking God for that moment. I was thanking Him for the fact that I have a friend in Jesus. It’s not that we don’t need people around us, but sometimes the very best thing to do with our heavy hearts is to worship God and thank Him for the very fact that we are never ever alone. He is with us every second of every day. He loves us.

After a long day I told Mario about my afternoon car worship session with the Lord. I told him I was going to write a blog post about it today and title it, “Don’t Call A Friend, Call God!” He suggested another title, the one I ended up using because it is the lyrics to one of our favorite songs by Chandler Moore called He Understands https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N97fDmYKrE

The last part of my day was participating in a Womens Bible Study where I was reminded that we are to yield to the separation that God has us in right now. If this season feels like loss to you in any way…loss of the known, the comfort, the friendships, the identity, the job, the place, then this post is for you. We have a Friend, and He understands. Lean in today. Don’t give in to pressure to reach out to the “known comforts/habits” that usually give you the out you want. Lean into the uncomfortable new place where God has you. God knows. He knows how hard it is. He is near and holding you close. This is growth, friend. Let go of the control and lean into His strength.

Leaning in,

Sonia

It’s Tuesday

Happy Tuesday! I am writing the last paper for my Apologetics class today so this will be a short post, aren’t you glad 🙂 The assigned topic for the paper is to create a case for a friend who does not faith in Jesus and does not believe in miracles or the resurrection. The prompt includes some tips such as not using Bible quotes (because my intended audience does not believe in the Bible) so only use quotes from it when it helps with the argument for the historicity off the resurrection. I am going to put a plug in for prayer for me on this one. I have to cite at least five scholarly sources other than our class text. I am glad to do it but the research always takes the most time.

How are you doing this Tuesday, dear reader friend? I am struggling a bit mentally as I get through the first part of the day, some of it hormones – some of it the effects of a recent bout with insomnia – all of it, just being stuck in my own head (bordering on “obsessive introspection” as I recently learned about in Priscilla Shirer’s Elijah Bible Study called “Faith and Fire”). I hope you’re leaning into the truth about you and your purpose because that’s what I need to do right now so I will share these truths:

1. You and I are created in the image of God. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yV0pu60Uqs
2. He is faithful to complete the work He has started in us. It’s not dependent on us. He is faithful even when we are faithless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb9FMg8GFoc
3. Look up, Child. We can focus on Jesus. He is our Friend. We are His. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N90b4O3B-kY
4. No matter what, He is good and His mercy endures forever. Praise Him! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KiQDoWo5t

I hope you listen to these songs and praise the God who is in control of everything. I hope we can be vessels for His goodness today no matter what is thrown at us. We have an assignment today and that is to know God’s love and to make His love known. Don’t believe the hype. Believe God.

Believing with you,

Sonia

Happy Birthday, Dad!

My dad, Samuel Morales

My dad was born and raised in Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 I have to put the flag here (you know how proud Puerto Ricans are of the flag!). He signed up for the Marine Corps during the Vietnam War and did two tours in Vietnam. He was in the Marine Corps for twenty years and retired as a Gunnery sergeant (GySgt). I was born on a military base in Twentynine Palms, CA, the oldest of three girls, and we lived on a few military bases while I was growing up.

My dad has been retired from his second career, his second career also in protecting the community. That’s what I know to be true about my dad, serving and protecting his family, community and country.

My dad went through boot camp only speaking Spanish. He was not bilingual then but successfully completed bootcamp and was a US Marine through and through.

I wanted to write this post to let you in a little bit to see a family man, a hero in so many ways, front and center.

He and my mom (who was born and raised in Uruapan, Michoacán in Mexico 🇲🇽 -there’s another flag for you because I have to represent both!) met in Oceanside while my dad was stationed at Camp Pendleton & the rest is history.

There’s lots of life that happened between then and now, but I have to tell you that as a daughter, I am so proud. So proud of all the things my dad has accomplished in his life and instilling a love for this country 🇺🇸 (and that’s another flag we love in our home) and sacrifice, service and the freedom he fought for.

I spoke with my Dad on Friday night, and we did some online shopping for some new baseball caps for him as birthday gifts. The ones he chose said “USMC Vietnam Veteran” and they had to be camo, of course!

So to my dad, this proud daughter says, “Happy birthday, Dad! Thank you for loving all of us and giving us a life we could be proud of! 🙌🏽🇵🇷🇲🇽🇺🇸 God bless you, Dad!“

With all my heart, Sonia