The Discipline of Looking for Joy

Incredibly difficult circumstances exist in everyone’s lives. It does not matter who you are, where you live, what’s in your bank account – if you’re breathing, you’ve got some hard places in this life. I know I’ve got my list. You’ve got yours. We could compare notes and wonder if yours is worse or mine is, but I don’t think it is a matter of whose is worse…difficult is difficult. Heartbreak looks different for everyone. It might be a million little things, two or three things or one really long, “no end in sight” trial. What is the same, the common theme in all of these differing landscapes, is that it’s hard. Some days I wake up, like today, and the sun is shining as I am coloring my roots (hair up in a bun, with the roots all glistening with Madison Reed dark brown slathered all over my hairline as I type), and all seems okay – not so bad. Other days, it feels like the list of difficulties is all I see no matter what I try to get myself into a different mindset. I realize that this is normal for all of us. Some days are just better or harder than others. Life, right?.

At first glance you may think I am a “glass half full” kind of woman, but let me be honest here, that is not the whole story. My natural tendency is what’s called a “negative Nelly” (or is it Nellie?). My husband, optimist – go with the flow. Me, pessimist – so NOT “go with the flow.” We do balance each other out, but here is the thing about that negative mindset, it messes with you and robs every sliver of joy and peace. It makes you eventually doubt that all things work together for good (Romans 8:28), and things like bitterness and hardness of heart start being your guide.

The other morning I woke up early in the morning, negative Nelly was making coffee and thinking of all that hasn’t gotten better or all that is not the way I wanted it to be. I sat down on the couch and opened my journal and started to write. I thought about our brain and how it is a muscle and how training muscles is discipline and then the phrase, “The discipline of looking for joy” came to mind. I wrote it down and have not stopped thinking about it since. This blog is named after a life changing story in the Bible in John chapter 4. It is my story. I love this passage. Well, that negative Nelly morning, after writing in the journal, I opened up my daily devotional reading for April 16th and what was on the bottom of the page for “further study and encouragement” – none other than JOHN 4:1-26. I buried my head in the couch and bawled my eyes out right there.

In the quietness of that morning, where no one could see the struggle in my mind and the thoughts of that discipline-joy thing, God saw and pointed to the very story He knows brings me joy. It was like He was saying, “Just look for it, the joy, it is always there to be found no matter what.” Yes suffering will never go away, oh but the joy – the joy – the joy, when we look for it, we find it. I guess that’s how I should end this post. Joy – it’s a discipline. How do we get disciplined in looking for it? Well, I’ll have to follow up with another post as to what that looks like for me and how it’s going, but a good place to start is – simply ask God. Your “how” might look different than mine. Oh, and another fun fact about this story, believe me when I say that this song popped in my head OUT OF NOWHERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDXnqmgtp7sI have heard it in movies before, I think, but I never paid attention to the words. Give it a listen, God didn’t have to be any more clear. That’s all for today! Thank you for reading. Until next time… hopefully I will write sooner for this next post 🙂

With all my heart,

Sonia

What if You’re the Villain in the Story?

Our blog post begins today with a story straight out of history from 1 Samuel 25 (The Message). Read carefully and put yourself in this story then honestly ask yourself this question…which character am I here?

There was a certain man in Maon who carried on his business in the region of Carmel. He was very prosperous—three thousand sheep and a thousand goats, and it was sheep-shearing time in Carmel. The man’s name was Nabal (Fool), a Calebite, and his wife’s name was Abigail. The woman was intelligent and good-looking, the man brutish and mean.

David, out in the backcountry, heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep and sent ten of his young men off with these instructions: “Go to Carmel and approach Nabal. Greet him in my name, ‘Peace! Life and peace to you. Peace to your household, peace to everyone here! I heard that it’s sheep-shearing time. Here’s the point: When your shepherds were camped near us we didn’t take advantage of them. They didn’t lose a thing all the time they were with us in Carmel. Ask your young men—they’ll tell you. What I’m asking is that you be generous with my men—share the feast! Give whatever your heart tells you to your servants and to me, David your son.’”

David’s young men went and delivered his message word for word to Nabal. Nabal tore into them, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? The country is full of runaway servants these days. Do you think I’m going to take good bread and wine and meat freshly butchered for my sheepshearers and give it to men I’ve never laid eyes on? Who knows where they’ve come from?”

David’s men got out of there and went back and told David what he had said. David said, “Strap on your swords!” They all strapped on their swords, David and his men, and set out, four hundred of them. Two hundred stayed behind to guard the camp.

Meanwhile, one of the young shepherds told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, what had happened: “David sent messengers from the backcountry to salute our master, but he tore into them with insults. Yet these men treated us very well. They took nothing from us and didn’t take advantage of us all the time we were in the fields. They formed a wall around us, protecting us day and night all the time we were out tending the sheep. Do something quickly because big trouble is ahead for our master and all of us. Nobody can talk to him. He’s impossible—a real brute!”

Abigail flew into action. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep dressed out and ready for cooking, a bushel of roasted grain, a hundred raisin cakes, and two hundred fig cakes, and she had it all loaded on some donkeys. Then she said to her young servants, “Go ahead and pave the way for me. I’m right behind you.” But she said nothing to her husband Nabal.

As she was riding her donkey, descending into a ravine, David and his men were descending from the other end, so they met there on the road. David had just said, “That sure was a waste, guarding everything this man had out in the wild so that nothing he had was lost—and now he rewards me with insults. A real slap in the face! May God do his worst to me if Nabal and every cur in his misbegotten brood aren’t dead meat by morning!”

As soon as Abigail saw David, she got off her donkey and fell on her knees at his feet, her face to the ground in homage, saying, “My master, let me take the blame! Let me speak to you. Listen to what I have to say. Don’t dwell on what that brute Nabal did. He acts out the meaning of his name: Nabal, Fool. Foolishness oozes from him.

Ok, who did you decide you were in this story? For most of us, we would like to think we are Abigails. Abigails, right!? How could we NOT be! But what if you really dug deep and saw that you were a Nabal – full of venom*GASP*! Or a David – full of rage *GASP*! How could that be possible? I think that happens a lot more than we care to admit, that we are actually the villain in these stories. We read about the villain and the hero, and we decide we are the hero. What humility and honesty it must take to look at a situation and admit that we have villain tendencies. We get angry too fast – we talk too much – we think too little, and we let our emotions dictate our every move. Maybe it’s just me, but I can be a Nabal, and I can be a David…oh, but how I pray and how I ask for wisdom to be the Abigail. There are times I am the Abigail. There are glimpses there. But I think this morning the challenge for all of us is to look in the mirror and truly ask, “Am I the villain in this story?” And if the answer is yes, OWN IT! That’s freedom. Ask God to forgive you, ask the one(s) you hurt to forgive you. Turn from that “villain-hood,” realize the strength in the humility of that confession, and then pray that next time there’s a story in your life that leads you into an emotional arena you lean into the honest fact that YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT, and maybe, just maybe, God has allowed this backdrop of your life to highlight something in you that has to change. This process, crushing. An ego blaster, for sure. But it means health and life and ultimately learning how to be more like Jesus. And that’s the point. If your aim is anything other than that, guess what, your aim is you – and then, sadly, you really are the villain.

I write this today with grace in my heart for you, for me and for all those on a journey to learning how to control our emotions. Being the villain is not our destiny. God promises that!

That’s all for today. Have a blessed day, time to go look in the mirror.

With all my heart,

Sonia

P.S. This song is dedicated to you, Little Bird. You know who you are. God loves us!

Attention Please (can also be referred to as “A ‘TENSION’ Please”)

How’d we all do with the Thanksgiving festivities (or lack thereof)? This year, like all years (and like most people, I’m pretty sure) looked different. How do you do when different isn’t necessarily what you wanted? Do you resist the change, lament over the past, resent the new normal? I have so many questions this Black Friday morning. I am sans coffee as I type so that’s my disclaimer before I go any further in my post! Read on, if you dare.

I’ll be honest here, my changes for this holiday were not what I wanted. Without going into all the private family details, I will share that key people were missing for me. There was a void – a big one, and amidst all the food prep and sweet moments that did take place, this void loomed so largely that I couldn’t concentrate on anything else for most of the day. It felt like I was in a strange dream scape that I would wake up from at some point, but instead, the whole day passed with this uneasiness and tension in my soul that camped out for good.

By the time the dishes were washed, the clock showed near midnight, I was looking forward to one thing: that tomorrow wouldn’t be today. Before turning out the light I opened up my phone and found this insta post from Jackie Hill Perry (if you don’t know who she is – Google her!!)

This was a profound reminder to me that the tension in our lives demands attention – not for nothing – but, so that we can choose. That’s when I looked up this verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:18
“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Right there at the end of the day with the new day dawning was this BIG truth: THIS was God’s will for me. He has something going on behind the scenes that I know nothing about, but He does and that’s what matters. I can choose to be thankful in all that I can see is happening, at the same time I can choose to have faith for everything else.

In The Chosen series Mary Magdalene says this line, “I was one way, and now I am completely different, and the thing that happened in between was Him.”

We are in the “in between” and the tension along the way is His will for our lives. The outcome of all of this is that we will be changed, more into the image He created. That’s the sweet spot of tension, CHANGE.

We can be thankful for the GREAT CHANGE. Thanksgiving 2022 taught me so so much, and I am truly grateful because God allowed the tension that got my attention in the very best way. For those of you with those voids too, I am praying for you this morning. Whatever healing you need, God is waiting to bind up. Thank you for reading today. Have a super thankful Black Friday!

With all my heart, Sonia

Why Your Outfit Matters

Hi Everyone, it has been a minute since I have written anything, but I just needed to today. I was in my morning reading and studying through Priscilla Shirer’s He Speaks to Me Bible study and came across this section about the shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16) and the explanation of the Romans soldier’s shield:

“Heavy and cumbersome, the shields caused them discomfort but often proved necessary to save their lives. Like those shields, faith in Christ can cause discomfort. In a world that does not believe in the validity of God or His Word, faith will often demand difficult choices.”

The question listed after that was, “How does our faith function like the Roman soldier’s shield?”To which I wrote in my study book: it protects, absorbs things intended to kill me, it saves and gives the perspective to me and those around me that I am a WARRIOR.

So the topic to think about on this first of November has to do with that saying, “Dress for the job you want…” Are you tired of getting beat down by the same issues over and over? Are you tired of feeling powerless in the recurring themes of your life? Are you tired of the battle inside your head with the thoughts that you are just not enough or you are too much? Are you tired of feeling and thinking and living like things will never change? Are you tired? I’ll answer for myself… YES!

I have been dealing with a recurring theme in my life and went to bed with heaviness in my heart, the kind that makes you tired in a whole different way. So when I sat down this morning with coffee in hand and read this part of the study, it struck me. I wasn’t dressing for the job I want. I wasn’t dressing like the victorious woman of God, I am. I wasn’t dressing like the woman who was saved by a King thirteen years ago. I wasn’t dressing like I have a Wonderful Counselor who gives me all the wisdom I will ever want or need. I wasn’t dressing like I know that I have the victory because Jesus loves me. And I certainly wasn’t dressing like the woman that God created in His image.

I’ll tell you what outfit I had on….doubt, insecurities, fear and a sense that my old self had creeped in to say, “Remember me, the girl you were?”

I wish we could sit down together so I could tell you why this contrast is so very real to me, the old Sonia up until the age of 35 versus the born-again Sonia from 35 on, but I will say this to you today: God gives us the perfect outfit to put on each and every day to ensure our safety and our ability to be in this fight called life so I pray I don’t miss that. I pray you don’t miss it.

Happy November, friends. Time to put on those outfits, hand picked and crafted by the One who loves us most and best. With all my heart, Sonia

The Armor of God

Ephesians 6:10-19

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel

Happy International Women’s Day ~ 2022

Dedicated to those fighting the good fight, you have been given the gift of setting the world entire on fire with a passionate love that only God could give. Keep fighting.

To the woman at the well: Keep telling people to come see a man who told you everything you ever did and loves you still. (John 4:29,39)

To the single mom/widow/single woman: Keep following Jesus. He’s got you. (Judges 4:9)

To the businesswoman living out your faith: Keep your hand to that plow. He is multiplying all you do. (Acts 16:14)

To the woman in the process of healing: Keep accepting His grace. Go and sin no more. (John 8:1-12)

To the woman making courageous decisions to help her family: Keep breaking those unhealthy cycles. God honors your brave. (Joshua 2)

To the woman working side by side with your husband in ministry: Keep living out that unity. It’s a good, good thing. (1 Corinthians 16:3-4)

To the woman standing up to tyrants all over the world: Keep resisting. Your courage saves. (Exodus 1:17-18)

To the woman stuck in an impossible situation: Keep using the wisdom God gave you. Your voice matters. “And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

To the women who wake up tired and go to sleep exhausted, He sees us and He gives us the strength we need to set the world on fire (Proverbs 31:10-31)

Happy Day, Ladies!

With all my heart, Sonia

P.S. (And for those of us married or coupled up – thank you to the godly men (Shout out to mine! MARIO!) who help us become all we are meant to be).

A Dream 12 Years in the Making

TGIF, my friends! We made it! It has been a month since my last blog post and so much has happened. I wish I could tell you every single detail so I will do my best to give you as much of the good stuff as I can remember. First of all, Fiona (our pit bull), is all healed up from her New Years Eve mishap. Thank you for praying for her healing! Secondly, I must start this blog post in saying that I, once again, am in awe of God’s perfect timing.

To kick this off I will share that this past year has been all about seasons ending and huge change. I wonder if anyone else had a 2021 like that? After ten years of serving and attending a certain church we made the difficult decision to head in another direction as God led. After working at my job for almost seven years, I felt the shift and understood it was time to leave that position. So in one year I had two major life changes within months of each other. My whole world felt upside down. In my quiet time with God and on walks with Mario I would be honest about how scared I was and how my identity was so intertwined with those two parts of my life so much so that I didn’t know how to be. I would be encouraged and affirmed during these walks and talks that God was doing something new, I just needed to be patient. Believe me when I say that it was a soul-searching, soul-baring, gut-wrenching process – one in which I will forever be grateful for. I had no other safety net than the Lord and that’s just how He wanted it. I mean, I had my husband and friends and family, for sure – but this was a letting go of all that I thought I was in control of and trusting God for what was next.

At the end of last year I received an email with a job opportunity announcement for an organization that I have admired for years! Back up to twelve years ago when I got saved. I kept saying “I need to work there (at this organization). I know I’m supposed to! I don’t care if it’s just to volunteer, I need to be there.” Instead, the last twelve years I was serving at churches, working full-time and going to school. There just wasn’t time. And, I bet you…I wasn’t ready.

Well, I emailed back about the job opportunity regarding qualifications, minimum requirements and the like. The holidays came and went, and I was still emailing back and forth with the hiring person for the organization. It was a slow process and with each step I would ask Mario to pray that if God didn’t want this for me that the door would be shut, and that I would be okay with it. I was so excited with each step forward. I know you can picture it: sent application (wait), letter/references (wait), phone interview (wait), in-person interview, (wait) tour of facility (wait) and then the wait for their decision. I waited, and they finally called me with the news of the job offer three weeks ago. I started work two weeks ago and my feet still feel like I haven’t touched the ground – I am so stunned, in awe that God put something like this in my heart and here I am living it! I am working in my dream job! This morning I literally cried over my cup of coffee with my heart overflowing with thankfulness for His timing.

I am honored for this opportunity to serve and work in a unique way that gives homage to the road I traveled and the faithful God who has prepared me for such a time as this. I want to encourage you with this: if you are in a season of what seems like mundane, thankless, heartbreaking work – I know how that feels. I think we all have had that in our lives at some point and some are even living it now. Hang in there! God knows what He is doing. I promise you, I finally feel like my feet are locked in place on the path the Lord has prepared for me…my heart and mind are free to fly like never before. It’s like all this time God has been saying, “Hold. Hold. Hold. Wait. Wait. Wait. Ok, now! Time to soar!” So hang in there!

If you are in a Hold/Wait season right now let me be a witness that the Mark Twain saying is true, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” The seasons of being in a holding pattern and waiting is such perfect preparation for all He has for you and me. It is a beautiful thing to be protected that much against our own ambitions. We all need it. We need Him and His timing.

I can’t wait to see all that the Lord is going to accomplish in and through this new job – please pray for me that I honor and glorify Him and that revival is birthed from this place. I am praying that for you as well. I can’t wait to hear from you how faithful He has shown Himself to be in your life.

Since it’s Friday, here’s a Friday song for you. Put this on blast and drink in the joy, for we are loved. Oh, and Happy Valentine’s weekend! I hope your heart is overflowing with all the love He gives.

With all my heart,

Sonia

Cats & Dogs

Fiona, pretty in pink

The wonderful team at Vet Emergency Group in Encinitas

Happy First Blog Post of 2022! I’m sitting in the car waiting for Mario while he’s at the chiropractor’s office so I decided there’s no time like the present to write this blog post that has been swirling around in my mind since New Year’s Eve!

For any new readers out there my name is Sonia. My husband and I have had a pitbull rescue, Fiona (the Fawn), for three years. This is our second rescue. We previously had a pitbull named Luna for over 10 years before adopting Fiona. Fiona is a special case. The humane society told us that she had probably escaped from an illegal puppy mill where she was bred too young and too often. In her little life she’s had lots of health issues and behavioral problems, but we love her.

Rewind to New Year’s Eve six days ago when Mario and I decided to visit some friends for the evening. Upon returning home I had this sinking feeling that Fiona may have had an issue with her anxiety because the fireworks that were going off in nearby neighborhoods were Fourth of July level fireworks.

Sure enough, upon entering the house I found pieces of wood from our door trim and blood all over the floor but no sign of Fiona. I waited downstairs while Mario followed the trail of blood up the stairs and found her at the top of the stairs standing there with what looked like a huge gash in her abdomen. I am not kidding when I say it looked like a crime scene! I broke down crying while Mario put an old sheet around her and carried her into the car.

We drove to Veterinary Emergency Group in Encinitas, one of the few emergency vet hospitals open on New Years night. I cannot stress enough how amazing they were there! After imaging and testing the vet said that Fiona’s wound was superficial so they would be able to stitch her up and send us home with meds. We were there until 10:30am since they were so busy.

During that time we saw cats and dogs – some in the lobby and some in kennels recuperating, and it struck me that none of them were fighting with each other. While we sat there waiting I told Mario that they weren’t fighting with each other because they were all sick and just trying to get well and that’s the problem with the church right now.

I feel like we have forgotten that we are all sick and just trying to get well. The church is supposed to be a healing place for those needing help and in most cases it has become something else, a system of our own making where infighting is the norm. As the world gets more polarized, the church seems to do the same.

For this year Mario and I made the decision to continue in the direction that God has us going and that means pushing against any religious man made system, against our own destructive perceptions/habits and pushing against any fear of moving forward in faith. We are purposing to be intentional in the little things God wants us to be obedient in and to keep at it!

Okay, quick update…after I started writing this Mario and I had a hard day together. We fought after going to Costco! We fought like cats and dogs, literally. I’ll spare you the details..this post is long enough, but we did talk it over and got on the same page. That’s the thing about healing, you want to do it alone, but you really can’t. We need each other, and we need God’s grace for that healing. So we pray for revival and that starts with us, and it starts with you.

To end this post I just want to say that this is a year of continuing what you started! Get healthier in every way. Keep going! In order to get better we need to see what God has been showing us about healing. We are all sick in some way and need to be focused on getting well. Focus on the Healer. Focus on the healing that only God can give & then share it with a world in desperate need of it.

Happy 2022, friends! The best is yet to come!

With all my heart,

Sonia

Merry Christmas 🎄

Dear Readers, It’s a little after 9am here, and I just wanted to share a quick Christmas blog to highlight a weekend trip I took with a friend a few weeks back. She invited me along on a trip with the organization Corazon de Vida to visit an orphanage in Baja California and attend a benefit concert. It was a life changing, heart blessing weekend that embodied the Christmas spirit because when I looked around at the children I saw joy, peace, hope in a simple & humble setting. There was a contentment in the children, staff and volunteers that you simply could not manufacture. It was God given, and they were definitely receiving it with open arms. I wanted to share some photos from that weekend and ask that you join with me in praying for the children and the staff and Corazon de Vida as they support these Baja California orphanages. The need is great! If you need more info please visit their website: https://www.corazondevida.org

Merry Christmas and thank you for reading along this journey of the blog.

With all my heart,

Sonia

Dedicated to the Last Month of 2021

Shout out to my sweet niece’s photography from Thanksgiving last week ❤ Tia loves you!

Hi, my friends and handful of readers! I have been busy working on my second to last semester of school & focused in, simplifying everything – which, if I am honest, has been kind of hard. I am not on social media anymore and although it’s been refreshing in a lot of ways, it’s also been difficult to realize how much of that I have used for connection with people. I am here to tell you that it is good to look at those things in our lives that get in the way of real connection. It is the bravest thing to take inventory and let God highlight that which He wants to change in us. This is a perfect time to do it! The Christmas season should feel like a birth of many things in our lives as believers and my prayer is that we would quiet everything and spend the next 30 days in the Word. Get quiet with the world and connected to God like never before – every day. It is Jesus’ birth month, after all! It will be the best gift you could give Him and yourself. Here is a Psalm to start you off. I pray you are blessed this Christmas season. I am seeking Him with you. With all my heart, Sonia

Psalm 3

O Lord, how many are my foes!

Many are rising against me;

many are saying of my soul,

“There is no salvation for him in God.”

Selah

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,

my glory, and the lifter of my head.

I cried aloud to the Lord,

and he answered me from his holy hill.

Selah

I lay down and slept;

I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.

I will not be afraid of many thousands of people

who have set themselves against me all around.

Arise, O Lord!

Save me, O my God!

For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;

you break the teeth of the wicked.

Salvation belongs to the Lord; your blessing be on your people!

Selah

May you draw nearer to God this month and may you find comfort in the one who sustains you, who hears your cries, and is a shield about you.

All things PINK

Happy Tuesday, one day closer to Friday. Just a reminder that there are 10 Tuesdays left this year so some quick math will tell you 2022 will be here before we know it. I took the day off from writing yesterday to get to the truly adult task of cleaning out desk drawers and organizing them. We let it go a little too long this time and the necessary mail got mixed in with the junk mail so it was a bigger job than it needed to be. It feels therapeutic to get rid of junk & since there’s no school for me this week I am committed to getting rid of junk. I’ll let you know on Friday how it went 🙂 Stay tuned…

Today’s blog post was going to be called, “The Girl in the Pink Pajamas” because of a story I told a group of friends about getting my first Bible in catechism and how I thought I had to look my most best and most perfect self so I took a shower, put on the fanciest, silk-like pink pajamas I had and opened up to the book of Genesis and got as far as the genealogies and that was it. I couldn’t go on – just didn’t understand it and thought even my fanciest pink pajamas couldn’t do the trick so that was that. My worst seven-year old fears came true in that moment, “I am just not good enough to read the Word of God.” I believed that for almost 35 years until 2009 when everything changed.

Fast forward to my 47 year old self this year, struggling with hormones, insomnia and all the fun things this time of life throws at women, and I was up in the middle of another sleepless night. I decided, instead of tossing and turning for hours on end, I would be productive and go downstairs and do some Bible study homework. It was right in the middle of reading when I looked at my legs underneath the Bible and study book on my lap.

I WAS WEARING PINK PAJAMAS!

It was like a light bulb moment in the middle of the night with God. He made good on that desire in my seven-year old heart to make the words of the Bible come alive. My insomnia moment turned into one of the sweetest moments of my life (insert all the pink heart emojis here ❤ ).

Then today I was reading in Lisa Harper’s book, “LIFE: An Obsessively Grateful, Undone by Jesus, Genuinely Happy, and Not Faking it Through the Hard Stuff Kind of 100- Day Devotional”, when I came to Day 46 called Hurling Love Right Back, a powerful read. Please do yourself a wonderful favor and buy it as a gift to you & then buy a copy for someone else https://www.amazon.com/Lisa-Harper-Book-2/dp/1433691957/ref=sr_1_2?crid=11X8IJV2UJEQ0&dchild=1&keywords=life+lisa+harper+devotional&qid=1634671402&sprefix=life+lisa+har%2Caps%2C234&sr=8-2

How does this tie in? Well the book is PINK ❤ and it reminded me of the lovely grace of God and His faithfulness. The powerful words from today’s devotional based on 1 John 2:9-11 reminding us how to treat one another – the purpose of forgiving and giving grace, to live in the light (and if God colors the light pink for you, all the better):

^9-11 Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark. It’s the person who loves brother and sister who dwells in God’s light and doesn’t block the light from others. But whoever hates is still in the dark, stumbles around in the dark, doesn’t know which end is up, blinded by the darkness

My prayer for you today is to have a gentle day, gentle with yourself and with others (as much as it is possible) gentleness, for His gentleness has made you great (Psalm 18:35)

Gentle as we go,

Sonia

Hope is Dope

Happy Friday, friends! I don’t have much time to write this morning and maybe that’s a good thing since I have been long-winded this week.

I woke up and checked my emails and had one from I Am Second Films so I watched some of the films. I’ve some before and they’re truly inspiring so I wanted to share one here this morning:

Jason Castro, Part 2

That’s part 2 of his story. There is a part 1 on the site if you care to watch that as well. I wanted to share this because I know we all struggle against something – whatever your “something” is & I wanted to say that there is hope. Shame doesn’t need to define you or hold you down. There are people walking around today FREE from their chains of addictions and destructive behaviors, like Jason Castro, like me, like many others I know. One thing I know: hope in Jesus is the only way to truly live.

Made some mistakes? Not proud of some parts of your story – maybe all of your story? Good! There’s hope for that!

I absolutely love this quote from Lysa Terkeurst’s book Trustworthy, “Learning deeper trust in God doesn’t often happen in straight lines of obedience. It’s when we cycle through trials, tripping and sometimes falling, that we realize our desperate need for Him. Knowing our need for Him leads us to putting our trust in Him.”

See what I mean? Hope is dope.

Have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for reading, sharing, liking and commenting. I appreciate you so much! Looking forward to meeting up here on Monday.

Hoping with you,

Sonia

Problem with Authority

Happy Friday Eve 🙂 This post is inspired by the most recent assignment in my psychology class. To quote from the ABC News special, A Touch of Evil, “In 1961 Dr. Stanley Milgram came up with this experiment to test whether people would blindly follow the order of an authority figure. He found that 2/3 of his subjects were willing to give the most dangerous shock on the machine.” Fascinating but chilling study information – you can read about here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

In 2009 ABC News worked with Dr. Jerry Burger, a social psychologist at UC Santa Clara, to recreate the study to see if people had changed 45 years later.

Watch ABC’s findings here & then please come back to this blogpost to see where this is going: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=HwqNP9HRy7Y

Authority & those that blindly follow…ok, deep breath for me as I keep writing and make this personal. I confess I have a problem with authority. At times, it can be a very detrimental thing in my life, but at others it has saved me and helped those around me. So what’s the difference? How do we obey when we’re supposed to – who we’re supposed to? When do we say no and stand up to authority?

Now, more than ever, we need to be looking at who we obey and why. We cannot afford to be blind. The scary thing about the most recent experiment is that they found that people obeyed at the same rate they did 45 years ago. Which brings to mind that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

Many of us Christians have recently studied or are studying the life of Elijah. Prime example of someone who did not blindly follow and stood up to authority. You can read all about him in the Bible in 1 Kings (here’s another resource as well: https://www.gotquestions.org/life-Elijah.html )

The Bible is full of men and women who stood up to authority and led people out of oppression and saved others at great cost to them physically, socially, economically but they were compelled to do the right thing in the face of the wrong kind of authority. Just look up the lives of Moses, Rahab, David, Deborah, Esther, all the prophets, John the Baptist, Paul, Peter. The list is long but there’s one thing they all had in common, a higher calling. In James 5:17 he states, “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours..” Let’s read that last part again, …”with a nature like ours.”

We know that these people were flawed like us. For example Elijah got spooked by Jezebel. Peter denied Jesus three times. The disciples fled the scene when Jesus got arrested and the list goes on and on with that too but they persevered. They figured out how to walk in the full power, boldness and confidence of the living God. They made the choice to lay down their lives for the greater good and that starts with thinking – thinking for yourself, asking God, listening to God, reading the Word, praying for wisdom, prayer with others for direction & confirmation, believing and having faith in the unseen and listening for the Lord’s guidance, denying your tendencies towards comfort, humbling yourself – swallowing your pride and going through the sometimes agonizing spiritual bootcamp of victories and defeats.

It means stepping out from the crowd, separating yourself. It means giving up your quest for popularity and recognizing our higher calling, the higher purpose and Who our true authority is. Jesus Christ.

Right now the lyrics from the song “Popular” from the musical Wicked popped into my head, “

“When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf to think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or ‘specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!They were popular!
Please, it’s all about popular!
It’s not about aptitude
It’s the way you’re viewed
So it’s very shrewd to be
Very, very popular like me!“

Unlike “Glinda” in Wicked, I want to have brains and knowledge, and I believe you do too. So let’s think and follow God and lead. Let’s not be people pleasers, but God pleasers. If you battle, like I do, your tendencies towards having a problem with authority just know that’s not a bad thing. We just have to be motivated by the right reasons and then focused in the right way. God is not looking for perfect. He is looking for willing and that I am, and if you’re on this journey too, than that you are as well.

That’s why the phrase, “Don’t drink the kool aid” exists! Let’s not drink the kool aid!!

If you need some musical inspiration today, have listen to Moriah Peters “Brave“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xWBuWtC8MY

Thanks for reading today and let’s end this week being brave!

Thinking and questioning with you,

Sonia

I Have a Friend

I know it’s only October but it was 41 degrees this morning

Happy Wednesday! Here we are middle of the week. How was yesterday? If you read Tuesday’s post you know I confessed that I was having a tough day mentally. I texted a friend this asking her to pray for me, “Prayer request for me today. I’m struggling today with just tons of negative thoughts & don’t want to stay there. Got to let go and let God.” I sent that text a little before noon and then drove to Carlsbad to run some errands. As soon as I got in the car I was alone with my thoughts again. I immediately thought who can I call to talk this through or pray this away or just get out of my own head. My mind went through the list of people that would be available to talk at that time when all of a sudden the thought occurred to me, “I should just look to God. I should cry to Him, listen to worship songs and give Him this moment. Focus on Jesus.” So that’s what I did. I just turned on a radio station, I think it was 92.1 and songs were playing that had me just thanking God for that moment. I was thanking Him for the fact that I have a friend in Jesus. It’s not that we don’t need people around us, but sometimes the very best thing to do with our heavy hearts is to worship God and thank Him for the very fact that we are never ever alone. He is with us every second of every day. He loves us.

After a long day I told Mario about my afternoon car worship session with the Lord. I told him I was going to write a blog post about it today and title it, “Don’t Call A Friend, Call God!” He suggested another title, the one I ended up using because it is the lyrics to one of our favorite songs by Chandler Moore called He Understands https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N97fDmYKrE

The last part of my day was participating in a Womens Bible Study where I was reminded that we are to yield to the separation that God has us in right now. If this season feels like loss to you in any way…loss of the known, the comfort, the friendships, the identity, the job, the place, then this post is for you. We have a Friend, and He understands. Lean in today. Don’t give in to pressure to reach out to the “known comforts/habits” that usually give you the out you want. Lean into the uncomfortable new place where God has you. God knows. He knows how hard it is. He is near and holding you close. This is growth, friend. Let go of the control and lean into His strength.

Leaning in,

Sonia

It’s Tuesday

Happy Tuesday! I am writing the last paper for my Apologetics class today so this will be a short post, aren’t you glad 🙂 The assigned topic for the paper is to create a case for a friend who does not faith in Jesus and does not believe in miracles or the resurrection. The prompt includes some tips such as not using Bible quotes (because my intended audience does not believe in the Bible) so only use quotes from it when it helps with the argument for the historicity off the resurrection. I am going to put a plug in for prayer for me on this one. I have to cite at least five scholarly sources other than our class text. I am glad to do it but the research always takes the most time.

How are you doing this Tuesday, dear reader friend? I am struggling a bit mentally as I get through the first part of the day, some of it hormones – some of it the effects of a recent bout with insomnia – all of it, just being stuck in my own head (bordering on “obsessive introspection” as I recently learned about in Priscilla Shirer’s Elijah Bible Study called “Faith and Fire”). I hope you’re leaning into the truth about you and your purpose because that’s what I need to do right now so I will share these truths:

1. You and I are created in the image of God. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yV0pu60Uqs
2. He is faithful to complete the work He has started in us. It’s not dependent on us. He is faithful even when we are faithless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb9FMg8GFoc
3. Look up, Child. We can focus on Jesus. He is our Friend. We are His. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N90b4O3B-kY
4. No matter what, He is good and His mercy endures forever. Praise Him! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KiQDoWo5t

I hope you listen to these songs and praise the God who is in control of everything. I hope we can be vessels for His goodness today no matter what is thrown at us. We have an assignment today and that is to know God’s love and to make His love known. Don’t believe the hype. Believe God.

Believing with you,

Sonia

Becoming More Acquainted

Each day I get more acquainted with my God and, unfortunately & fortunately, more acquainted with myself and my shortcomings which is why this Monday October 11 blog post is about GRACE.

I am intrigued with famous last words. Winston Churchill stated, “I’m bored with it all.” Humphrey Bogart said, “I should have never switched from Scotch to martinis.”

In looking at the Bible and the last written words from Paul in 2 Timothy he states, “The Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Grace be with you. Amen.” 2 Timothy 4:22

The last verse of the Bible: Revelation 22:21, “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.”

So, this theme of grace has been floating around me, filling my mind, convicting me, encouraging me, bringing to my mind answers and questions. So how do we do this, the grace filled life? In the middle of a flipped upside down and inside out world, estranged relationships, political chaos, frightening world events…how do we do this?

I heard this in church a few years back, “The amount of grace you give is in direct proportion to the amount of grace you allow yourself to receive from God.” There’s a clue to the equation! We have to recognize our need – our desperate, constant need for grace. If we don’t see that part, the part where we need His grace all the time, then we won’t give it. We can’t give out what we don’t possess. We end up in a graceless existence, harsh and cold, unforgiving and unloving.

As I am typing I am reminded of this verse: “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!” 2 Timothy 3:1-5

Heavy, heavy, heavy truth. That verse is eye-opening! We need grace! I wish I could have a megaphone in my car and ride around shouting that we need the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ every minute, every day! I get it wrong so many times. I need His grace! But I don’t need a megaphone. You don’t need a megaphone. We just need to live it out, humbly recognizing our need for grace and then taking those opportunities to give grace.

Maybe sometimes grace looks like letting go of the shame and allowing God’s forgiveness to set you right. Maybe it looks like letting someone off the hook and softening towards them. Maybe it looks like letting go of the unrealistic expectations and loosening your control. Maybe it looks like forgiving someone else’s wrongdoing against you and letting God sort out the rest. Maybe it looks like saying sorry first. Maybe it looks like letting them say sorry to you.

Maybe it looks like an honest inventory of your life to see where you’ve been living in light of His grace. That’s how it looks for me right now. Honest inventory. And if God has me looking at what the last verse of the Bible says, then I’d better take note, sit up, listen and get to stepping in that direction.

So each day I get more acquainted with my God and thankfully more acquainted with my flesh and in turn, more acquainted with HIS GRACE. Humbling equation but life-saving, life-giving equation.

The only way to live this equation out is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. If you have never put your faith in the Lord, let today be the day: click here to pray

I have to wrap this up now and log in for school. Please forgive me for my long winded blog post today. I haven’t written anything other than school papers for a while and obviously I am rusty and wordy. Thank you for your grace. May we live and move and breathe in His grace. May we be ambassadors of His grace today.

With all my heart,

Sonia

P.S. This song is for you, Mario. Thank you for sharing it with me. I love you!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

My dad, Samuel Morales

My dad was born and raised in Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 I have to put the flag here (you know how proud Puerto Ricans are of the flag!). He signed up for the Marine Corps during the Vietnam War and did two tours in Vietnam. He was in the Marine Corps for twenty years and retired as a Gunnery sergeant (GySgt). I was born on a military base in Twentynine Palms, CA, the oldest of three girls, and we lived on a few military bases while I was growing up.

My dad has been retired from his second career, his second career also in protecting the community. That’s what I know to be true about my dad, serving and protecting his family, community and country.

My dad went through boot camp only speaking Spanish. He was not bilingual then but successfully completed bootcamp and was a US Marine through and through.

I wanted to write this post to let you in a little bit to see a family man, a hero in so many ways, front and center.

He and my mom (who was born and raised in Uruapan, Michoacán in Mexico 🇲🇽 -there’s another flag for you because I have to represent both!) met in Oceanside while my dad was stationed at Camp Pendleton & the rest is history.

There’s lots of life that happened between then and now, but I have to tell you that as a daughter, I am so proud. So proud of all the things my dad has accomplished in his life and instilling a love for this country 🇺🇸 (and that’s another flag we love in our home) and sacrifice, service and the freedom he fought for.

I spoke with my Dad on Friday night, and we did some online shopping for some new baseball caps for him as birthday gifts. The ones he chose said “USMC Vietnam Veteran” and they had to be camo, of course!

So to my dad, this proud daughter says, “Happy birthday, Dad! Thank you for loving all of us and giving us a life we could be proud of! 🙌🏽🇵🇷🇲🇽🇺🇸 God bless you, Dad!“

With all my heart, Sonia

Go and Sin No More

I’m up at 1:20am unable to sleep and this theme keeps rolling around in my head. Since I can’t sleep I came downstairs to write so here we go.

The title of this blog may bring to mind the story of the woman caught in the act of adultery in John chapter 8 or maybe even the woman at the well in John chapter 4.

I was saved on July 30, 2009. I was 35 years old and had lived all my life searching and running and running and searching. I said the sinners prayer around a dinner table that amazing day in 2009, and my life was changed forever in that instant.

I had what some would call a “radical conversion moment” where one minute my life was going the wrong way and the next it was not. What I have found these last 12 years of my Christian life is that everyone’s story is unique. Some people have that “a-ha” moment like I did and for others it is more like a long, slow simmer into their faith life. Either way it is powerful, real, personal and miraculous.

I’ve often wondered about a few women in the Bible, and what their lives looked like after they began to live as Christians. The Bible doesn’t mention the failures and slip ups of either the woman at the well (John 4) nor the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8) after their moment of coming to faith in Jesus, but you’ve got to know that they weren’t perfect from the get go. They probably struggled with old tendencies, and…NEWSFLASH! They probably did sin even after their miraculous encounters with the Messiah Himself! Oh, but His grace covers!

These were women with extremely broken pasts: the woman at the well who’d had five husbands and then the woman caught in the act of adultery. Let me say that again for the people in the back: a woman who’d had five husbands and another woman caught in the act of adultery. Safe to say, they had issues with men, and they probably had a laundry list of lots of other issues as well. I can relate. Let me let you in on a little secret (or maybe not so little of a secret). I was the woman at the well. Let me also confess that some things in my life changed miraculously on that wonderful July day in 2009, and others… well…let’s just say I am a work in progress and thankful for the Lord’s grace and truth in my life. Oh, but His grace covers!

That’s the thing about God that’s so perfect! He is gracious, and He is truthful. Only He can understand the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The trap for us onlookers sometimes is to think that because someone is saved they need to do A, B and C in a timeline that we perceive to be acceptable to the Lord. We become judge and jury without really knowing the heart of God.

I think the reason this theme, this warning is coming to mind is that we are at a critical time in life when we need to come together as the body of Christ and truly be about our Father’s business. He did not call us to police the lives of other Christians and think ourselves superior. He called us to live lives of love in Him and in service to others. The moment you and I become critical and frustrated with others’ lives not looking as holy as we think ours is, we have stepped outside of being of service to others and have entered the futile realm of merely being a spectator. The Bible has something to say about that. I just looked this passage up in The Message:

A Simple Guide for Behavior

Matthew 7 ^1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

At this time there are men, women and children in Afghanistan who profess Christ who are not concerned about how someone else’s faith life looks, of this we can be sure. Their reality is a life and death one. We can be certain their focus is the Lord and not the speck in someone else’s eye – the smudge on their neighbor’s face. This should be a sobering thought, a wake up call that we need to get serious and stop sweating the small stuff or we are going to miss the very thing God wants our attention on. We need to deal with the ugly sneer on our own face and pray. Like the verse above says..”that we might be fit to offer a washcloth to our neighbor.”

Thank you for reading this early morning post. It’s a heavy one for sure, but one I think we all need. It’s time. Time to be humble. Time to be prayerful. Time to grow. Time to change. Time to stop judging. Time to come together. Time to love. Time to be about our Father’s business.

With all my heart,

Sonia

P.S. If you have been judged, pushed out, demeaned, bullied, left out, ridiculed, misunderstood and even if you’re the judge and jury…this song is for you and for me:

To my enemies

I have been studying a ton as I am in the third week of my classes and am reading about family, marriages and relationships. Good thing because there are lots of real life situations that I can draw from. One of the most incredible truths I have been reading about this week is how we are all designed in God’s image. Let that sink in, “Mario, made in the image of God. “Sonia, made in the image of God.” “Gabbie, made in the image of God.” “Alex, made in the image of God.” And so on and so forth. Even this, “My enemy, made in the image of God.” Oof.

Maybe this isn’t a new concept for you. Maybe you just know that people are made in the image of God. I’ve read this and thought I “knew” it, but something has changed. I don’t know if it is just that this is my birthday week, or my hormones are behaving or if this is just God’s birthday lesson highlighted for me by letting me sit higher on His lap as He takes the wheel so I can see better.

A little something about me (and maybe all of us): my vision and perspective at times has me seeing everything and everyone out of a lens of hurt, trauma, triggers, bitterness, fear…basically the potpourri that makes up PRIDE. So not pretty, let me tell you! Like I said, God has given me a greater view, a higher perspective if you will, and the perspective is this: not only am I created in His image, but everyone I lay eyes on is as well. I’m telling you, it is overwhelming, this feeling of a beautiful crushing of how precious people are. It has softened me, ruined me and made me realize how hard hearted I can be when I feel I have the right to be.

I feel like my birthday gift from God this year is this softening of my heart – not the chiseling or pummeling that I am used to, but a tender melting of the walls I had around my heart. I am seeing His creation, His salvation, His power, His plan, His beauty in other people like never before. Even the bad stuff looks like good stuff right now. I am rooting for us all to see each other with the eyes of the Lord. Jesus showed us the way (Matthew 5:44) and gave us the power (Romans 15:13).

To my precious loved ones, you are made in the image of God.

To my enemies – known and unknown, you are made in the image of God.

I pray we can all live in that truth.

If you need some reminding today, turn this up. This is dedicated to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yV0pu60Uqs

Don’t Take the Bait

I’m back in school, and this is my second week of the term so my blog writing is taking somewhat of a backseat, but I was up this morning at 4:30am knowing I had to put this right here. I am in two classes this summer – one of them being Theology 330 – Theology of the Family and this introduction is from one of the textbooks:

Your family lives in a war zone. With every exploding shell, the house shakes. Your physical body may never feel the shell shocks, and the plaster on your walls may remain intact—but the impacts are present all around you. Long after your children fall asleep and the chaos of the day fades into the quietness of evening, the shelling continues.

To be sure, when you look out your window and survey a suburban backyard, a busy city block, or the rolling hills of a rural landscape, what you see probably doesn’t look like a war zone. But don’t let such serene scenery fool you! Beyond the doors of your household and mine, a battle rages. The battle is about glory, and who will receive it. The battle is about authority, and who will exercise it. [Randy Stinson (2015). (p. 29). Trained in the Fear of God: Family Ministry in Theological, Historical, and Practical Perspective. Kregel Publications. Retrieved from https://app.wordsearchbible.lifeway.com%5D

I forget this so often, that we are in a daily spiritual battle. With that forgetfulness (or loss of focus) comes the reality that I lose sight of the fact that there is an enemy of my soul and yours that knows our tendencies and triggers and will exploit them in an attempt to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10a). Sometimes the attack is full on and you know that you are under attack. Sometimes it’s a million little irritations – you feel like it’s a constant drip of a faucet, and you don’t even realize, that this too, is an attack – a subtle one, for sure, but an attack just the same. Can I just say this to you and me this morning…? DON’T TAKE THE BAIT! Wait. Stop. Breathe. Pause. Think. Give it some time. If you’re like me, this is super hard but it is possible if we know that this is what the enemy wants us to do…to take the bait, hook – line – and sinker.

In the last 24 hours I have had several points of engagement where I could just respond a certain way but 75-80% of the time I just waited through it, and what a difference! Mario helped me too in one particular occasion, reminding me to “just wait – give it time”. My friends, that is one of our greatest assets in winning these big and little battles in our lives…WAITING! Waiting for God to bring to reality what is really going on. Waiting for your emotions to subside and rational thought to take over. Waiting for the Holy Spirit to give you the right words and heart. Waiting, waiting, waiting and WINNING!

I guess that’s today’s theme: Don’t take the bait – wait and win! This is why God got me up early this morning to remind me that we don’t have to take the bait anymore because we are not slaves to fear and sin any longer. Like the song below says, “I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.” That’s all I’ve got today. May we be those who live out the second part of John 10:10 and live that abundant life God has laid out before us.

Ok, one last thing…here’s this special song from Zach Williams Live from Harding Prison Album, “No Longer Slaves” please watch and listen to this (all the songs and interviews are amazing!!):

With all my heart,

Sonia

Dream Horse Movie

Ok Wednesday, we see you! Good morning! Here is a short post to encourage you to watch the movie, “Dream Horse.” It is rich with beautiful truths and the best part is – it’s a true story.

I haven’t checked Rotten Tomatoes or any other reviews of this movie, but I don’t care. Okay, I admit I just did and look! Yay, they got it right!!

89% TOMATOMETER and 97% AUDIENCE SCORE

I love all the character stories in this movie, but the main character, Jan Vokes, truly inspires me – especially at this point in my life. I will turn 47 in less than a month and have had some big changes this year and have even more big decisions ahead of me so this movie gave me a glimpse at what living out your dream looks like. I needed to see this now.

It is easy to choose the comfortable, familiar and predictable. People would probably look on and say that is reasonable and understandable, but when I started my walk as a Christian I didn’t sign up for safe or predictable. I said yes to life, the life that He created me to live so I have to be brave and wise in my choices, uncomfortable in the unknown and patient in the process. I don’t want this year to just pass me by. I want to live it to the fullest letting God take my hand – pointing to sunrises, broken paths, sunsets, rainbows, valleys, scary roads, and butterflies all along the way. My life is supposed to wave His banner of miracles and so is yours. Our stories are to point to Him, to impossible possibles, so my prayer today is to live that dream because it is a reality. He made it so.

Please listen to this song called Jireh that says we are already loved, we are already chosen. Like the movie says, “Be brave. Be brilliant. You were born for this.”

With all my heart,

Sonia

P.M.S., Perimenopause & Pink Bubblegum Ice Cream

How was your Monday? Mine was rough, physically. I am going through what is called “perimenopause.” Doesn’t that sound fun? The word pause in there should imply something of a restful state but alas, that is the furthest from my experience thus far. Here’s some more information on that https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/perimenopause-rocky-road-to-menopause

So yesterday was one of those days, call it P.M.S. or call it perimenopause, but I will call it no self-control, no energy, not cute and so not okay! I got through work and thankfully we are still working remote because if I had to be seen in public with the outfit I had on yesterday, I would have become a whole other kind of prayer request for anyone who knows me!

Right after work I put heating pads all over my midsection and laid on the couch hoping these cramps would be beat back by the Thermacare heat wraps, I sipped on a glass of wine (did not drink it all, and it did not help anyway!), and I broke down and ordered Baskin Robbins Doordash delivery of Pink Bubblegum Ice Cream, my favorite since I was eight years old. That’s worked in the past, the ice cream trick, some kind of self soothing with the pretty pink frozen delight, but this time it did not and I ended up throwing most of it away!! I took one bite of the ice cream and could feel my teeth screaming at the sugar and my stomach going into panic over this rush of confection it hadn’t seen in a while.

The problem….I have been eating pretty clean for about a month now and my body has been healing up from all the junk I used to eat, and I had been feeling pretty good. I recognized right away the yucky side effects of eating like this. The ice cream that I used to think “helped me” had revealed itself to be nothing more than an eight year old’s fantasy of all things good and fun.

The solution…don’t freaking fall for it next time, Sonia! Seriously though. I know all this, and I still caved. I felt so bad I was willing to try anything (well almost anything), but still. I KNOW BETTER and I STILL WENT FOR IT! I know, that’s life sometimes, but I put this out there as a reminder to not reach back to those things that used to bring us comfort.

I know that if I had just waited it out and fallen asleep I would have been just fine. Maybe I would even feel a little better than I do right now, but sometimes I learn the hard way that the old way of doing things no longer applies. I reach for the familiar, the old tricks, the known stuff to make things okay, but I am thankful that God doesn’t let me go down that road.

He got my attention using the physical and the natural to give me a little nudge in the right direction to keep me off the old path. This is a new path that I am on with Him. The old things no longer apply. Maybe that’s the same for you and if so, I would encourage some summer reading, maybe even a book like the one I just started called, “Girls With Swords” by Lisa Bevere. I just started it this past weekend and on page 12 under a heading that says, “Old Tactics” is this:

Now is not the time to draw back in fear. It is a time when we must rise up and flourish in love. When I became a Christian, I learned that God actually had a plan for my life. It wasn’t merely that I had a new destination in the afterlife. I learned my life mattered now. I had been purchased at great expense, and my life was no longer mine to squander. God wanted me to become all He had created me to be.

Well, I will sign off here for today and ask that we pray for one another that we purpose to do things the new way and live in all He has created us to be. We are not normal ordinary women. We are God’s daughters. Have a blessed Tuesday, lovelies!

With all my heart,

Sonia

We Have a Friend, He Understands

Good morning, happy Monday! I hope you had a beautiful Father’s Day weekend, but if you didn’t and even if you did I am dedicating this blog post to you.

Put on your headphones or AirPods or just turn up the volume on your device and listen to this song that starts off with, “I have a friend, he understands…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N97fDmYKrE

Gabbie introduced Mario and me to Chandler Moore’s music and seriously, this singer is anointed! You can listen to Jireh and/or Lean On You for a few more examples. Amazing!

Mario had to work in Irvine all weekend. I tagged along so we could weave in some date time as well and during the drive up & back we usually show each other songs we’ve been listening to so I put on Lean on You and then He Understands came on right after. When Mario heard the first line, “I have a friend. He understands,” he looked stunned and said, “Now there’s a perfect description.” We proceeded to listen to the song without speaking as tears ran down our faces.

Later I asked Mario why this song hit him this way and this was his reply, “It doesn’t matter how much you try to explain to someone what you feel – what you are going through, only Jesus truly understands all of it.” There’s so much truth there! Even though Mario and I share so much of our thoughts and feeling with each other, only Jesus truly understands and that is the most comforting, heart encouraging, heartbreaking. liberating truth that we don’t have to walk around this week misunderstood. He understands. He really does. So let’s not try so hard to get others to understand us. Let’s free themselves up and ourselves up from figuring it all out.

Know this, beautiful person reading this right now, your heart is already tended to because He understands and will never leave you alone in your pain. We are so loved right here and there’s nothing we can do about it. Two truths to hang onto this week: 1) we are loved and 2) He understands.

Well that’s all I’ve got for today! Now that you’ve heard Chandler’s song He Understands, here is Lean On You to end out this blog and kick off this week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-pwPyUZmUM

With all my heart,

Sonia

Everyone’s A Critic

Happy Friday! We made it & Happy Juneteenth! Mario’s fresh off a fishing trip, and it was a good one. I know he loves fishing, but he also uses that time as his own personal retreat with God. He texted me this before I went to bed on Wednesday night while he was on the ocean: “I can barely see land. It’s beautiful out here. God’s presence for sure.” When he goes fishing he loses reception in international waters so sometimes I get freaked out not being able to reach him. He’s a wild man, and I love that about him. I can’t keep him held back because of my fear. I know this is something I have to GROW through. And grow, we did! Shout out to my faithful friends and family who prayed us up.

At 10:36pm Wednesday night Mario sent me a text of something he had read on a devotional called, My Utmost For His Highest. I have to share it:

Jesus’ instructions with regard to judging others is very simply put; He says, “Don’t.” The average Christian is the most piercingly critical individual known. Criticism is one of the ordinary activities of people, but in the spiritual realm nothing is accomplished by it. The effect of criticism is the dividing up of the strengths of the one being criticized. The Holy Spirit is the only one in the proper position to criticize, and He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding. It is impossible to enter into fellowship with God when you are in a critical mood. Criticism serves to make you harsh, vindictive, and cruel, and leaves you with the soothing and flattering idea that you are somehow superior to others. Jesus says that as His disciple you should cultivate a temperament that is never critical. This will not happen quickly but must be developed over a span of time. You must constantly beware of anything that causes you to think of yourself as a superior person.

There is no escaping the penetrating search of my life by Jesus. If I see the little speck in your eye, it means that I have a plank of timber in my own (see Matthew 7:3-5). Every wrong thing that I see in you, God finds in me. Every time I judge, I condemn myself (see Romans 2:17-24). Stop having a measuring stick for other people. There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person’s situation. The first thing God does is to give us a thorough spiritual cleaning. After that, there is no possibility of pride remaining in us. I have never met a person I could despair of, or lose all hope for, after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God.

I read each word and was convicted and encouraged at the same time. Only the Holy Spirit can do that! I’m going to let you in on a little secret…I was a little afraid Thursday morning when I hadn’t heard from Mario so I played the “Worst Case Scenario Game” from the TV show This Is Us. Here’s a clip to give you the idea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utP53SA6HzU

So I played the game and thought to myself, “Worst case scenario is something bad happened out there on the ocean.” Terrible, I know, but that’s the “Worst Case Scenario Game.” My next thought which I know was right from heaven was, “And the last thing Mario would have shared with me was the Word.” I cried. That’s my husband. That’s the growth journey we have been on. He hasn’t always been this way and neither have I. Jesus, in His loving patience, is working things in and out of us by His grace.

Well…Mario got home around 7pm yesterday looking a little sunburnt, exhausted and totally happy! Fiona (our pet pitbull) and I met him with that same happiness that he was back safe and sound. They caught fish (see photo! YAY!) but even if he hadn’t, that little overnight trip gave him time to focus on what God had for Him, for us and the message of criticism. Jesus says, “Don’t” and so we work on that and keep each other accountable.

To end this out I will share what my friend texted me this morning when I sent a photo of the fish Mario caught. She wrote, “He is a fisherman of men too!” I have spent too much time being a critic of my husband in the past so I have to boast in the Lord when I say, yeah, he is a fisher of men, and I am beyond grateful that God made him the man he is.

Have a blessed Friday, friends and family!

With all my heart,

Sonia

“2% is not 0%”

I had a whole other post planned but just read Ann Voskamp’s post, and I am undone. It blew away whatever post I was going to put up here for Thursday so what we have on the blog today is Ann’s link so you can read for yourself about “Nightbirde” and the video from America’s Got Talent.

Happy Thursday, friends. Like the song says, “It’s ok. It’s alright.”

How To Meet God at Your Lowest Point

With all my heart,

Sonia

We See You, Hump Day!

Here we are, middle of the week, and I admit I slept in an hour longer than I set my alarm for. I have been doing lap swimming in the afternoon to help get the quarantine weight off and believe me when I say, I have been sleeping like a rock! Anyway, life is definitely changing at break neck speed and I could write all day about decisions we have to make and the unknowns and blah, blah, blah, but I don’t want to. I want to put our focus where it should be to face this middle of the week and all that we will contend with. Here is a song that Mario sent me a link to last night:

And here is my journal entry for today while I was listening to the song: Father God, Help me to push everything out of the way and just focus on Your goodness. Whatever I can’t understand or fix, I know You are making a way, so I can just rest today. Thank you for Your goodness. I will live in Your goodness and love.

That’s all I’ve got today, friends, and if that’s all I’ve got and all you’ve got, we are good to go. God’s got us. Believe that!

With all my heart,

Sonia

Oh, But the Joy!

How are you doing right now? I ask because it is 6:42am, and I woke up with a barrage of junk (when I say junk, I mean JUNK) rolling around in my mind. The theme in my brain this morning, failure. My failures. It was like a video montage of past mistakes, failed relationships, heartbreaks and unfulfilled dreams. Nice, right!? I cried as I journaled my thoughts and prayers. By God’s grace, I had two verses right in front of my face as I was writing that cast light on those thoughts to overshadow them with truth. These are the verses:

With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I don’t ever want to write all my victories or all my struggles. I want to write the real life ebb and flow, ups and downs that happen so that anyone reading this knows that it is normal to have all kinds of internal and external battles and you win some and you lose some, but in it all God is faithful.

So this morning I don’t need to reminded of who I am in my worst state or how scary or how messed up a certain situation is, I need to be reminded of who God is and how much He loves me because at the end of the day, that is the only truth that matters. This, this here is what I need to be reminded of:

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever! Psalm 30:11-12 NLT

This morning, as I type, I know I have a choice to either be buried by thoughts of my limitations or I can apprehend the power of God in my weaknesses. I can push aside the thoughts that nothing will ever change and lean into the change by way of what He has spoken over me in all these verses and in my heart and mind these last eleven years of my life as a Christian. He specifically gave me the following words in my heart the first year I started living my life for Him: “I have anointed you for service and you will suffer, Oh! But The Joy!” Now I understand, if you don’t have a relationship with the Lord, this is all going to seem weird and strange, but if you do, you know what I am talking about.

Speak this out loud this morning, look in the mirror or go outside and look up at the sky and say these words right to Him:

“You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.” Psalm 18:35 NKJV

His gentleness has made us great so let’s be gentle with ourselves today! Have a beautiful rest of the day not believing the hype and walking only in His truth.

With all my heart,

Sonia

The Honey Badger and The Bear

Happy Monday morning! I hope you all had a great, full weekend. I’m coming off of a busy one, but it was chock-full of all the good things. Mario worked the majority of the weekend so I was holding down the fort and attending Saturday celebrations all by myself. Thankfully we had a window to attend church yesterday morning and guess what the teaching was on?! The Blessing of Marriage 🙂

At the beginning of the service they did a little game with a few couples they brought on stage called the, Not So Newlywed Game. One of the questions they had to answer was what animal would your spouse say they are most like. Mario and I played along and got it right. He would pick the bear, and I would pick the honey badger.

Here are some characteristics of the bear from https://onekindplanet.org/animal/bear/

Amazing Facts About the Bear

• Bears are extraordinarily intelligent animals. They have far superior navigation skills to humans; excellent memories; large brain to body ratio; and use tools in various contexts from play to hunting.
• Bears grieve deeply for others. Cubs are known to moan and cry when separated from their mothers.  This can go on for weeks if their mothers are killed by hunters.
• Bears have excellent senses of smell, sight and hearing. They can smell food, cubs, a mate or predators from miles away. Their great eyesight allows them to detect when fruits are ripe.
• Some species of Asiatic bear build nests in the trees. They can use these for hiding, eating and even sleeping.
• Bears care deeply about family members. They will risk their lives and even fight to the death in order to save a cub or sibling from danger.

I have always called Mario “My Bear” because he gives such good hugs and the facts about bears above do describe his personality especially how he cares deeply about his family and his protective nature. I love him for this and so much more.

Here’s a little fun fact about honey badgers from https://facts.net/nature/animals/honey-badger-facts/

Honey badgers do not back down.

One of the most interesting honey badger facts is that the Guinness Book of World Records listed honey badgers as the “most fearless animal in the world”. This claim is backed up by actual honey badger behavior. Honey badgers aren’t afraid of facing animals much larger than them, and will fiercely fight to the death if not left alone. 

They will also fiercely attack any intruders that come across their dens. Honey badgers have been observed to challenge large mammals into fights, such as Cape buffalos and rhinoceroses.

When Mario first saw a YouTube video about honey badgers he looked at me and said, “That’s you! You don’t turn from a fight and you don’t give up.”

These animals both have one thing in common, they are protective and will fight to protect. I guess that was my take away yesterday among other encouraging marriage reminders, it was the fact that Mario and I are different in many ways, but God reminded us that these characteristics are designed by Him to bring about good in our lives and the lives of those around us.

At the beginning of this year we made a huge decision to push aside all the other competing priorities in our lives and put our marriage first. We pulled back from so many things because God was pointing us in the direction of getting our lives back in the order He created: God first, our spouse and then everyone/everything else. It was SO hard. It still is sometimes. The decision came about by way of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, agonizing circumstances that made it clear we could not go on like that. It was pain and hurt that pushed us in the direction we needed to go. Believe me when I say this decision didn’t come without judgement from onlookers, and it cost us tremendously. I have to say this though, we are now four months into our decision and have never been more fulfilled, balanced and blessed in our marriage. God is teaching us to cherish each other like never before so we are able to apprehend the blessing that is our marriage. It is hard, but we chose to obey God, and He is honoring that obedience.

That’s my encouragement for all of us today. If God is calling you to great change in your life…pray, pray and pray some more and then OBEY. He will multiply that obedience. It may not make sense to anyone and may not even make sense to you but it means peace – a peace that surpasses all understanding, and I don’t know about you but this Monday morning, this girl right here, she wants peace, the peace that only the Lord can give as we trust and follow Him.

Have a great week! Know that I am trusting and obeying right alongside you all!

With all my heart,

Sonia

The Great Assumption

Happy Weekend, friends! Mario and I have been trying a keto diet for the last six weeks for various health reasons. We’d heard about keto/low carb beforehand from a few friends who’ve had great success in weight loss and management of glucose levels so we started doing our research online and discovered that there is so much out there about keto. So much so that it gave new meaning to TMI 😳 I was on information overload so I got info from a coworker with years of experience in keto. That was a huge help in getting the process started.

We gave away several boxes & bags of groceries full of things on our “avoid” list and purchased some new keto friendly sweeteners, almond flour, coconut flower and lots of proteins and veggies.

We were cutting out all the carbs we could and thought we would see better and quicker results, but it was a slow process. Very slow! Finally, in frustration, my husband reached out to his friend and found out his secret to success with it (he’s lost so much weight that he is now trying to NOT lose more weight! Can you imagine that?!). His friend shared with him that he tracks all his food in an app called Carb Manager BEFORE he eats whatever food he is about to consume.

Well, we started doing that and found we were exceeding our carb allowance each day which was why we weren’t seeing results. We had thought we understood what foods were high in carbs, but we had it wrong. We didn’t have all the information. More importantly, we didn’t have all the information beforehand.

The verse, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3:5 came to mind as I thought about the spiritual aspect of getting information and input from the correct source before making decisions, and then taking that a step further in filtering it through God’s truth and light.

Assumptions. They’re a killer! When Mario and I were on a walk yesterday evening we talked about this theme, and he said it’s also important in whatever relationships we have not to assume we are better than or have all the answers just because we are Christians. Sometimes that’s our mentality as believers. We can get caught up and think we are actually better than. The danger in this is that we can never be taught by anyone we view as not on our level. We don’t learn. We don’t learn how to love better. We don’t learn how to grow. We don’t learn about ourselves. We don’t learn about God’s love. We don’t learn about others struggles. We stay stuck because we assumed we had all the answers.

Well my friends, I know we all don’t want to stay stuck so my prayer for us is that we get information – we don’t ignore – we don’t lean on our own understanding and we don’t assume. My prayer is that we gain some understanding and ask questions, seek God and step into the opportunities to grow. Yes, we have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of us, but that doesn’t mean we can think of ourselves more highly than others. It actually means the opposite, that we kneel down and serve the “least of these” and in the process we get the wonderful growth that God promises – that abundant life we all want, the one that Jesus promises! So, here’s to that abundant life. Let’s go out and live it!

With all my heart, Sonia

I Have Loved You

Happy Thursday, Loves! Today’s post will focus on the phrase, “It is what is.” I have found myself using this phrase quite a bit the last few months trying to explain certain things out of my control and then one day I saw something on social media that said “It is what it is until it isn’t.” That caught my attention. I Googled the phrase It is what it is and found this article: https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/the-stupidity-of-it-is-what-it-is.html

It is an awesome read about the phrase and why he feels it is stupid. He quotes Army officer Major Andrew Steadman in the article, ‘”Here’s the problem with It is what it is. It abdicates responsibility, shuts down creative problem solving, and concedes defeat. A leader who uses the expression is a leader who faced a challenge, failed to overcome it, and explained away the episode as an inevitable, unavoidable force of circumstances. Replace It is what it is with “This resulted because I failed to do __________” and you get an entirely different discussion.’

I admit I’ve used that phrase quite often lately, and it just didn’t sit well with me. I’ve shared in previous blogs that I am in therapy for my mental health, and I am going to share a little bit more about that right now and give you the reason for this blog title today. My therapist suggested EMDR therapy due to certain triggers and responses in my life. I had heard of this therapy before and knew a little bit about it so it didn’t surprise me when she brought it up. I just didn’t know if I was ready (here’s a link with information if you want to read a little bit about the therapy https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ ). I knew it was a call to action in every way for my mental, physical and spiritual health, a call to change. God was making a way for great change in my life and now it was up to me to either be courageous and brave or stay stuck.

I chose to be brave. I had my first EMDR session yesterday and in the interest of word count and time and the sensitivity of the subject I will leave out all the intimate details, but I will say there was a moment during the appointment where this verse came up in my mind as if God was whispering it over my entire soul,

“The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.” Jeremiah 31:3

I am still basking in that reality that God has had His hand on my life always, during every good and bad thing I have experienced. He was there. He is here. He sees it all. I am on the road to healing during this time of therapy, and I needed to know that He is with me. I am writing this to tell you today that it doesn’t have to be It is what it is. You can take His hand, trust Him and let Him walk you through to the other side of dealing with whatever needs to be faced. How it has worked and how it looks in my life is not turning my back on the appointments even when my heart is pounding out of my chest and my throat is closing up at the very thought of whatever is on the other side of healing.

My prayer for all of us is that we don’t settle for the status quo in our lives. We can proclaim a victorious, “It was what it was, but now it is not” over whatever change God wants us to embrace. The only reason why I can even write these words today is because of that verse reminding me that He has loved me with an everlasting love.

Dear reader, know this truth today, He has loved you with an everlasting love. He has called you. You are His and because of this truth our lives don’t need to be It is what it is any longer. He has given us the power to live on the other side of whatever haunts us. He has given us hope.

With all my heart,

Sonia

P.S. If you have any song suggestions, please send them my way! I love to listen while I write 🙂

Tuesday = Spiritual Health is Wealth

This past Sunday, Mario (my husband) purchased the Floyd Mayweather vs. Logan Paul boxing event on Showtime. I wasn’t particularly interested in it but had heard a little bit about the hype on the news so I sat down to watch. It was quite the uneventful match. The commentators were doing their very best to keep the hype going throughout the eight rounds of humdrum boxing. One of them quoted Mayweather saying in interviews, “My health is wealth.” That caught my attention, and I have thought about it a lot in the last few days. The equation is simple enough. I think we can all agree that healthy choices equal less money being spent on medicine, treatments and the healthcare that is needed to manage poor health brought on by unhealthy living.

What I wanted to talk about today, though, is spiritual health and the wealth that it brings. Do we ever think about how our spiritual health is doing? I don’t often think about it in those terms. I don’t wake up asking, “How spiritually healthy am I?” Let’s think about it. How spiritually healthy are you and how do we know? I watched a sermon on Sunday from The Rock Church in San Diego and Pastor Miles was talking about prayer, and then yesterday I talked with my daughter & she shared about a Monday prayer group at work that she joined, and finally, this morning a friend of mine called to share what was going on in her life and we prayed. I think there’s some of the answer right there. What does our prayer life look like? I was a part of a Saturday morning prayer group with the church we used to go to, and it was truly amazing – a beautiful gift. I learned so much about “corporate” prayer during that time. My husband and I are in a season of seeking where God is leading us next so I am no longer a part of the Saturday morning prayer call. This was difficult at first, more then I care to share here in this blog, but something has happened the last few months.

Looking back I know that this season was handcrafted by the Lover of my soul to get me spiritually healthy again. I had become so outward facing that I neglected all the healing that was needed in me. I am going to be honest here and tell you that the shift in focus has not been easy. I have felt abandonment, fear, doubt, despair, insecurities, sorrow, loneliness and a myriad of emotions that speak to all the surreal feelings that came with this change. Although I was confident in the direction God was showing us, it meant a drastic life change. At the beginning, my prayer life was nothing more than a simple, “Help me, Lord,” that’s all I could muster up. I still had my list of people to pray for, but I finally started adding my real inner life to that list. I think that’s a big part of being spiritually healthy – getting real with God. Really, really REAL in prayer. No hiding in shame, no holding back, no pretending…just raw truth with God met by a river of love and grace and unbelievable healing.

I think that’s the encouragement for today, the prayer for today, the hope for today: Get real with God – get real in prayer, and we will undoubtedly reap the rewards of a healthy spiritual life. No offense to all the loved ones in my life, but this season is not about you. It isn’t even about me. It is about the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That’s what my aim is, and I’m sure it’s yours too so let’s get healthy. It is all for His glory and our good.

With all my heart,

Sonia

The Bible Excerpt That Perplexed Me Most

Happy Monday! After a week off of blog writing, I am ready to sit here and type away. It’s 6:01am right now, and I did have a hard time sleeping last night and have been up for a while so I am praying I don’t just ramble here. Ok here we go! There’s been a theme rolling around in my brain for the last few days. This past week I read Proverbs 31:10-31. I just picked up my Bible one morning and read it, and it just perplexed me. Don’t get me wrong – I love the verses. They’re so encouraging and inspiring, but I am just perplexed at this woman. Who is she? Is she real? Do I know her? Am I her? Could I ever be her? So many questions. Here are the verses from the NLT because I think this version helps me the most with this passage right now:

A Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

¹³ She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
¹⁴ She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
¹⁸ She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.

¹⁹ Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
²⁰ She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
²¹ She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm^[b] clothes.

²² She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
²³ Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
²⁴ She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
²⁶ When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
²⁷ She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

²⁸ Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
²⁹ “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
³¹ Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

One of the most powerful lessons from these verses is all the relationships this woman has. We learn she is a wife. She is a mother. She is a homemaker. She is a businesswoman. She is a volunteer. She is a friend. She is an influencer. She believes in self-care. She has a vibrant relationship with her Creator. She is the woman she is because she invests in these relationships and lets them invest in her right back. If there is any encouragement we can take from the demands of being a woman in this time and space, it is that we are surrounded with everything we will ever need to live out the Proverbs 31 life. God provides each and every opportunity for us to step into our glorious, powerful destiny to be that woman.

As I started writing this post I took a break to make a phone call. I am so thankful I did! I could not write this the way I need to without insight from a woman who speaks with wisdom and gives instruction with kindness ~ verse 26 ~ (special shout out to MDG 🙂 ).

During the phone call I shared what I was going to be writing on and why I am perplexed by these verses. Here are the highlights/insights from this wise woman: 1) The Proverbs 31 woman struggles just like us 2) These verses are not an absolute state all the time – we are works in progress 3) The Proverbs 31 woman has to go through hardship to be this kind of woman.

I held back tears hearing these revelations. It was like God was giving me the permission to breathe and be. Maybe, like me, you’ve read these verses and were immediately filled with doubts and insecurities because of everything you think you’re not, but hearing that insight set me free to be okay with rereading about the Proverbs 31 woman and not hating on her nor myself knowing that I am her, and she is me. So today know that, if you are in Christ, YOU are her, and she is you.

That’s my heart for us today, that we would lift up our voices in prayer not only for ourselves, but to intercede for one another to remain steadfast in the glorious “work in progress” that God has set in motion for us. Yes, it takes a village to raise children, but it also takes a village to be the women God created us to be. Disclaimer/Confession: I’m not perfect at this (and I suspect many of you aren’t either) with broken friendships and failed attempts to connect on deeper levels, but I think all women struggle with intimacy in friendships. That’s even more reason to lean into those relationships and let the love of sisterhood (and 6am Monday morning phone calls) change our perspective on the Proverbs 31 woman in each one of us.

“…But a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”

Maybe I’ll write more on these verses this week, but that’s what I’ve got for today. Proverbs 31 Women, unite and get ready for all that God has for us this week! Thank you for reading & sharing ❤

With all my heart,

Sonia

Memorial Day 2021

Good morning! I have a little time to write today & I just wanted to say I hope you have a blessed day, whatever you’re doing. I hope you can join me in praying for all those whose loved ones gave the greatest sacrifice for our freedom ❤️

I read this quote right now in searching Memorial Day quotes online ““It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived.” – Gen. George S. Patton”

Please enjoy this video of Marian Anderson singing “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”

African American contralto Marian Anderson’s extraordinary musical range spread from lieder, to opera, to spirituals. In 1939, Anderson was painfully denied the right to perform at Constitution Hall because of her colour. Outraged by the decision, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt spoke up and Anderson was eventually permitted to perform at the Lincoln Memorial, where she famously sang ‘My country tis of thee’. When she was 58 she broke the colour barrier by making her debut at the Met, playing Ulrica in Verdi’s A Masked Ball (https://www.npr.org/2014/04/09/298760473/denied-a-stage-she-sang-for-a-nation)

I think it’s important today to think of the words of this song and the sacrifice and be thankful. I don’t think we could ever be thankful enough, but we can sure try 🤍

With all my heart, Sonia

Friday Feels

Happy Friday! The song at the very end of this post (PLEASE LISTEN, you won’t regret it) says, “You take what the enemy meant for evil and You turn it for good!” I don’t know about you, but already I am getting bombarded in my mind over anxious thoughts, and I haven’t even finished my coffee yet so I can’t just write today. I am going to walk you through a playlist that is playing in the background as I type. First up is “Symphony” by Switch because it says, “Even in the madness there is peace, drowning out the voices all around me..through all of this chaos, You are writing a symphony.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_90_NAbv3k

Oof, those words right now hit the spot – the spot that is fixating way too much on the unknowns! Next up is “What If” by Blanca. The lyrics say, “What if You’re making me strong…what if I’m right where You want me.” Those are some better “What If” questions than what was going through my mind 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbVYIZ4nkX8

Then the lyrics change from the “what if’s” to “I know You’re making me strong! I know I’m right where You want me!” I can’t tell you how much I love that truth right now!

Next up is a new song that I heard on the radio while driving in the car, “Joyful” by Dante Bowe. This one has my heart smiling and chair dancing right now! “I got the joy, joy down to my heart, down to my heart, down to my heart…today TODAY!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwvSKPOaQVg

And here’s the reason, the wonderful reason for hope in the midst of the Friday feels….this next song “The Reason” by Travis Cottrell says, “There’s a reason for this life inside me. One name above all names…Jesus, yes it’s Jesus!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i117hEAu5M

I hope you took the time to let those words wash over your heart and mind! I hope you let God sing over you just now through all these songs. My heart feels different then when I sat down and started this post, thank God. It’s the great exchange, exchanging all the junk for His truth. He loves us!

The Lord your God is with you, the Might Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

With all my heart, Sonia

Conflict Resolution

What are the 7 steps in conflict resolution? Here are seven-steps for an effective problem-solving process.

1. Identify the issues. Be clear about what the problem is. …
2. Understand everyone’s interests. …
3. List the possible solutions (options) …
4. Evaluate the options. …
5. Select an option or options. …
6. Document the agreement(s). …
7. Agree on contingencies, monitoring, and evaluation.

Good morning! I just borrowed this list from https://www.mediate.com/articles/thicks.cfm I borrowed it from here because I will confess I am not great at conflict resolution yet. I am willing to admit that, and in the admission comes the realization that I do want to change this, and God, in His infinite wisdom, is giving me plenty of opportunities lately. The term “conflict resolution” is just strange to me: conflict? resolution? That’s like an oxymoron in my book, but I know it’s possible. One of the reasons I know this is because my husband models this for me all the time. For a long time I just thought this was a personality trait and that we are just different people, but I’ve come to learn a little bit more about myself this past year and know that I have some interesting ways of dealing with conflict.

I think first and foremost I need to remember that I have a voice, and that is the reality. The other fact I need to remember is that I have ears to hear, and I should listen. The next thing is that no matter what happens I can pray, I can let go & let God, and finally, I can choose to leave the outcome to Him. I need His wisdom for conflict – it just doesn’t come naturally to me so I need His beautiful supernatural strength that He promises is always available!

I just Googled, “How Did Jesus Deal With Conflict” and found this excerpt, “Responding to conflict with emotional maturity takes intentionality and practice. But as Christians, we can look to Jesus for guidance. Jesus did two key things when he was faced with conflict in the Bible: he stayed defined and connected.” You can read the whole article here, it’s really good: https://www.faithward.org/jesus-and-conflict/

So today, dear friends, my hope is that whatever conflict we find ourselves in WE STAY “DEFINED AND CONNECTED”. It is possible, with God all things are ❤ Stay blessed!

With all my heart, Sonia

P.S. I like to post one of the songs I listen to while writing and this one is so, so perfect for today. Nothing like Your Presence, Lord!

What Happened to Putting in the Work?

Yup. Pretty much!

Ok this is going to be a weird post, so let me just say that out of the gate here. Thank you D.C. for helping me with the title of this blog post. Lately I have been hearing stories of young ladies who want to marry a man that can take care of them financially (the words sugar daddy come to mind as I am typing this). There is nothing wrong with wanting to date someone who has goals and is responsible, but I am not sure about this whole expectation of a certain tax bracket! I heard a quote once that says something along the lines of, “Some women want to marry a general but aren’t willing for them to be soldiers first.” I think this is true.

I also know there are more than enough stories of men who were married during their rise in careers only to leave their wives for other women once they reached their success so I am not letting the guys off the hook here either, but I am really wondering what happened to couples putting in the work? What happened to growing together? Why are we an entitled society that expects the perfect insta-worthy house, car, job, spouse at the blink of an eye? How the heck did we get here?

Now, I do love a turn-key house like the next person, but there is something to be said about all those HGTV shows we all love so much that give us a glimpse of the process of building and show what it actually takes to make that beautiful reveal! Basically, I am writing about the “hard work” part of relationships or anything in life, really! Let’s not skip that part! Let’s not fast forward to the pinnacle without the glorious parts of putting in the work. It means so much more that way!

I guess that is what I am trying to say here, that good things take time. It doesn’t have to be perfect at the beginning. I met my husband when he was a full-time musician, and I was going through a Medical Assisting program. We had no idea how to handle our finances (we are still learning), and we had so many things we wanted to accomplish in life, but were nowhere near that when we met. I don’t even think we had a clue where life would take us, but thankfully we did it together. Thankfully we turned our lives to God in 2009 and grew into the fiercely passionate, persevering people we are today. Thankfully we didn’t side step the process to exchange each other for our “ideal” because we would have missed out on all this. Our marriage is so much more valuable because we are growing together, that is the beauty of putting the work in. My life with my husband is NEVER boring, I promise you that, and I love what God has done with our marriage. He has honored the work we have put in & continue to put in!

My prayer for all you singles (and maybe some of us married folk, as well) is that we set aside all our entitlement issues and put in the work, that we get some therapy, some accountability, humble ourselves and most importantly that we do not despise the small beginnings that God brings. We have got to start somewhere! Thank you for reading and sharing! Have a blessed rest of the week 🙂

With all my heart, Sonia

The Struggle

Yesterday Mario texted this to me, “That’s a sign of life. If you’re struggling it means you’re fighting for a reason. Dead fish float down stream.” I had texted him that I was struggling so much in my walk and where to go to church, struggling with enrolling in my final year of school (starting back up on June 28 – prayers appreciated), struggling with my hormones, struggling in friendships, struggling in my mental health. Struggling! So that reminder from my husband was perfect and timely.

Struggling is a sign of life. I am struggling against my old pattern of throwing in the towel and giving up when it gets too hard. Maybe you’ve got struggles too to which I say to you what Mario said to me, “That’s a sign of life!” Hang in there! Thankfully we can look to God’s Word for the fact that struggling is not unique to us!

Genesis 32: 24-30 ^24-25 But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he couldn’t get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob’s hip out of joint.

²⁶ The man said, “Let me go; it’s daybreak.”

Jacob said, “I’m not letting you go ’til you bless me.”

²⁷ The man said, “What’s your name?”

He answered, “Jacob.”

²⁸ The man said, “But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it’s Israel (God-Wrestler); you’ve wrestled with God and you’ve come through.”

²⁹ Jacob asked, “And what’s your name?”

The man said, “Why do you want to know my name?” And then, right then and there, he blessed him.

³⁰ Jacob named the place Peniel (God’s Face) because, he said, “I saw God face-to-face and lived to tell the story!”

Struggling, wrestling, reasoning….all part of the process. Don’t let the struggle scare you, let it encourage you (I am preaching to myself here too!). No pain, no gain! No sacrifice, no winning! No perseverance, no finish line! But think about the other side of these truths: Yes, pain – but all gain! Yes, sacrifice, then the win! Yes, perseverance..then the glorious finish line! Thankfully we get the choice and thankfully we have a faithful God who knows our struggles and gives strength where we are weak!

2 Corinthians 12:9-11 NASB ⁹ And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast ^[a]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. ¹⁰ Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in ^[b]insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

With all my heart, Sonia

The “DIS” and the “UN”

Nothing like a fresh color to fight discouragement too 🙂

Let me start out this Friday post with words that start with “DIS”: discourage, disorder distract, disappear, dissimilar, disadvantage. Now let’s look at words that start with “UN”: unwell, unhappy, ungrateful, untrained, unwilling.

Looks like these aren’t great prefixes: ‘dis’ means apart and ‘un’ means not! Ok, why the word lesson for us today, right?! I think it’s because I’ve had the word “discouraged” rolling around in my head since yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful over many, many things, but I’ve been battling discouragement. Maybe you have too!

I’ll just be honest here and list a few of my discouragements (in no particular order): estranged relationships, finances, weight, school, work, hormones, writing (I love it, I’m doing it right now!! It can be discouraging to find time not to mention the feeling that you’re just not a good enough writer & it’s just a waste to put all the time and effort in). Do you see it, the theme, the “dis/un” life going on right now!

So what do we do with this when there is SO much to be thankful for? How do we battle the world and our own minds that tries to keep our focus on the negative?

We can turn to His Word, I promise, we can. I just did to help me write this for my heart and yours and found this verse when I typed in HOPE:

Psalm 61:2-5 The Message

God, listen to me shout,
bend an ear to my prayer.
When I’m far from anywhere,
down to my last gasp,
I call out, “Guide me up High Rock Mountain!” You’ve always given me breathing room, a place to get away from it all,
A lifetime pass to your safe-house, an open invitation as your guest. You’ve always taken me seriously, God, made me welcome among those who know and love you.

We can turn to worship (thank you A.D. for sharing this a while back): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iooys8xC3QA

We can turn to Him in prayer, anytime – anywhere. It can be a simple, “I need You, Lord!”

You can text/call that friend, those friends, you know those ones that will pray for you at a moments notice!

Bottom line is we have a way out of it, a way into hope, a shift of focus that God gives us. It’s also okay to be patient with yourself if the discouragement is deep and long. God knows!

I just wanted you to know for this “before weekend read” that it’s okay to be discouraged and to be un- whatever because the truth of this hope we find in Jesus is truly unending and that is an “UN” that changes everything. Have a beautiful weekend full of hope. With all my heart, Sonia

I Got Final Jeopardy Right Last Night!

This is going to be a short post because I have two blog posts I have already written that say pretty exactly what’s on my heart this morning so I will put those links in this post. Last night I was on the elliptical machine while watching Jeopardy. Mario and I like to make it a game between each other and keep score over how many we each get right (no, we are not competitive LOL!). I was doing well because there were some categories with words, and I love language and words. So final jeopardy last night was, “German settlers in Texas called this animal “panzerschwein.” To which I yelled out. “ARMADILLO!” (For all you Jeopardy connoisseurs, I know I should have said, “What is armadillo!) Well, I was right. I knew something about armadillos since I had written a blog post in 2016 referencing the panzerschwein: https://john4four.com/2016/08/22/yes-this-post-is-about-armadillos/

After my triumphant Jeopardy win (wink wink), Mario and I took our dog, Fiona, for a night stroll. During that walk Mario was being funny about the word, “panzerschwein” using it in all sorts of ways. He had me cracking up, but this word got me thinking. Anytime God has brought to mind the armadillo it means something in my life. You can read about it in the post above. I told Mario, “God is prepping me not to self-protect. He is giving me a heads up to be brave about something.” So I told him that the panzerschwein/armadillo was going to be the title of my post today. I had it all mapped out in my mind, what I would write about, but it took a different direction this morning.

I opened up my phone and read more about the Palestinian/Isreali conflict and basically how Israel is being painted as the bad guy here and, listen, I have been to Israel and felt the tension in the air on the Temple Mount. I know that deep rooted bitterness and conflict exists not just on one side, but as I read more this morning it became apparent that the media is trying to paint one side as the villain and the other as victim. Seriously!? The one thing I don’t want to get caught up in though is the intense emotional reactions that the media are counting on. It just divides us further! So it got me thinking about another post I wrote about being misunderstood/misrepresented: https://john4four.com/2018/07/31/do-you-need-a-lawyer/

My prayer for those being misrepresented in the media, in that relationship, in your workplace, in the financial situation, in your marriage, in your church, in the most difficult places in your life is that you focus on the fight, not on the rhetoric. Ask God, “How do I fight this?” and “How do I respond?” The One with the answer is THE ANSWER. Jesus is the only one in the history of the world who endured all the misrepresentation that humanity could throw at Him, and He still got it right. He was fighting the good fight. Let’s not lose sight of Him in our fight! I am praying for Israel, those affected on both sides and for all of us fighting our own hidden battles.

No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 2 Timothy 2:4

Thank you for reading today! I know you have lots of screen time these days so it is a blessing when I read comments and get feedback. You bless me! With all my heart, Sonia

Are You a Fighter?

Here we go, Tuesday! Right now I have this song playing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpuUlPfx0Ow I am doing my very best not to throw this laptop off my lap, leap off the couch and twirl around the living singing, “This is how I fight my battles!” I am praying that these words bless you today as you battle whatever is going on in your life.

Little secret, or maybe not so secret for those of you who know me, I am in therapy. I meet every two weeks with a counselor for lots of reasons, and it has helped me in ways I am probably not even aware of. My therapist is a Christian counselor and before you start judging the qualifications because of the Christian aspect, I must tell you that this counselor is a Doctor of Psychology – and a great one, at that! I am thankful for the balanced approach for my therapy.

So last week I had an appointment (even though I wanted to cancel – this usually happens when something good is coming my way, like a breakthrough or something) and mentioned a big issue I am dealing with. This issue literally makes my blood boil. I feel like I need to come out swinging on this one, and during my appointment I said something like, “Well, God didn’t make me a fighter for nothing.” To which my doctor replied, “Well, actually God does the fighting for you.” I stayed quiet. I mean, I know that God fights for me. There are verses all over the Bible that talk about how He defends, protects and fights seen and unseen battles on our behalf, but I don’t think I have settled into the fact that just because I see myself as a fighter doesn’t mean that I truly understand what that really, REALLY means.

As I was typing that last sentence in the previous paragraph I had these verses pop in my head from Joshua chapter 5:

¹³ And then this, while Joshua was there near Jericho: He looked up and saw right in front of him a man standing, holding his drawn sword. Joshua stepped up to him and said, “Whose side are you on—ours or our enemies’?”

¹⁴ He said, “Neither. I’m commander of God’s army. I’ve just arrived.” Joshua fell, face to the ground, and worshiped. He asked, “What orders does my Master have for his servant?”

You can study more about the meaning behind these verses here: https://www.bible-studys.org/Bible%20Books/Joshua/Joshua%20Chapter%205.html

I honed in on this excerpt from the link above: “Christians want to marshal God’s allegiance for their cause, when they should simply submit and follow wherever He leads. Once Joshua understood this, he fell “on his face” in worship.” (emphasis mine).

I heard someone in prayer recently say, “God works both sides,” and I took that to mean that He sees everything, not just my side or their side. He sees it all and can judge rightly. He fights for us based on truth. We sometimes (maybe even most times) fight for our cause, our rights, our egos, our agenda. When we look at the way Joshua responded it is apparent that he is a born warrior for God’s kingdom, prepared for battle, but He had to do it God’s way and that started with worship.

How do you worship when you are “seeing red” over something, your adrenaline is just pumping and you are primed for a fight? How do you worship then? I am seriously asking here. I guess we have to define worship first, right!? I just typed it into my search engine here and found these words that made sense to me from worshipdeeper.com :

Put simply, worship is declaring the greatness of someone or something. It is the act of giving up your own glory to make sure everyone knows that the thing being worshiped is pretty awesome. To put it even more succinctly, worship is bowing down to lift up.“

For me today, I guess it comes down to shifting my focus, quieting my mind, breathing, taking time to allow the heat of the moment to pass and to look to the greatness of God instead of the issue at hand. I know I am a like Joshua in that I don’t back down from a fight, but I want to also be like Joshua in that I will worship before taking one more step! (I also want to put the disclaimer in here that I am not talking about when you are in physical danger – when you are being threatened with bodily arm, fight, my sister, fight! What I am talking about in this case are those issues that come up in work, friendships, family junk, rude customer service people, wacky church things, etc.).

That’s all the time I have for today. I put this song here for us because the lyrics for the chorus are, “I’m gonna see a victory. I’m gonna see a victory for the battle belongs to You, Lord!” And yes, it does. Stay victorious, my friend. I am singing right there with you!

With all my heart, Sonia

Saturday Brunch & The Funny Thing About Surrender

Here we are, first day of the week, and it’s tax day. Let’s breathe! Whatever this week holds, we know God is already there. I’ve got about half an hour to write so we are off to a good start. I have my Peets pour-over coffee in my “Rise & Shine” mug and am wearing my favorite oversized morning sweater with the softest Target leggings ever, so yeah, I’m feelin’ good. I hope whatever you are doing right now, you take comfort in the simple blessings God has provided. Sometimes that’s all it takes to surrender a bad attitude or a case of the Monday blues.

My daughter has been in New York for the last month and a half with her wife and her wife’s family and just got back this past Friday so to say I missed her is an understatement! She is 28, and I am beyond blessed that she likes to spend time with her parents 🙂 So Mario was working this past Saturday, and we took that opportunity for some long overdue mother-daughter time. I dropped Mario off at work while Gabbie looked for a nearby Saturday morning brunch spot (you just gotta love Yelp these days!). We went to a wonderful cafe with plenty of seating and delicious food.

We started catching up and talking about some of the “drama” the last few months, and I brought up the word “surrender.” I explained that the “drama situation” had me thinking about surrender, and how it is a process. I can’t will it to happen. I can’t just wave a spiritual wand over it, and it will disappear. I have to go through this process of the ebb and flow of the emotions, the reasonings, the questions and the dialogue with God over it. The grip this has had on my emotions is starting to lessen, and I am seeing something else in play: the fact that God does wants us to truly let go and let God in these hard places we face.

I don’t think there is a standard formula for each person, but I do believe that there is a process. There is a point of surrender when you are just tired. It’s the point where you are done with holding it up and hanging on too tight. It’s the point where you “hand it over to God” and say, “Take it please!” It’s at that moment that it’s not about ‘us’ anymore or ‘them’. It’s about the fact that it was weighing us down, and we need to lay it down. And please, please know I know it is not easy to lay down the bitterness, the misunderstanding, the broken heart, the unrequited love, the loss of job, the estranged family relationship, the dream that never came true, the battered reputation, the infertility, the financial mess, the boring job, the shattered friendship, all the heartache but lay it down, we must.

“Laying it down” may look different in your life than mine. In mine right now, it looks like speaking less about the drama and not fixating on figuring it out. It also looks like a change of focus, my mind/my thoughts about it/them are changing. I am softer when I talk about it, gentler when I think about it. The hardness around my heart that felt like it would never go away has given way to a gentleness that shocks me.

The funny thing is that surrender then looks like freedom when before it looked like defeat. Surrender ushers in the beautiful knowledge that it’s not up to you, that there is a bigger plan, but that the plan is no longer your focus. Your focus now is the One who led you through that heartbreak and loss. You follow Him. You let Him lead because once again, He proved Himself faithful with your surrender process.

I was so thankful to God that I could talk this through with Gabbie. I could be honest and share that this process is necessary, hard but good. Like the saying goes, “The struggle is real, but so is God.” As we finished up our delicious meal I told her that that’s why I reposted the “Mansions” blog post I had written 5 years ago because this process of surrender had me looking up once again, knowing there’s more to all this than meets the eye. His will, His plan, His way. SURRENDER. What do you need to surrender?

My prayer for us this week is that we lay it down, but if surrender seems impossible for whatever is concerning you, I just pray a whisper of willingness for you. It can be a whisper, He will hear you.

Thank you for reading! Have a blessed week. With all my heart, Sonia

P.S. Please enjoy this song by Blanca! So so soooo good!

Mansions

Happy Friday! We made it! I have to tell you I had a rough night of sleep, could be peri-menopause, could be that I was hungry, could be all the things I was thinking about, but it was probably a combo of all those things. So instead of writing a new blog post and risk it being completely incoherent, I wanted to re-share my blog post from five years ago because this movie scene above has been playing through my head again so please take in this reminder that there’s more to life than meets the eye! Have a blessed weekend too. Thank you for reading this week. I hope it blesses you too ❤   With all my heart, Sonia

There’s this movie, The Holiday, that has a scene in it where Kate Winslet’s character, Iris, sees the house in L.A. that she’ll be staying in for her Christmas holiday. She is a woman who lives in a small, simple cottage in England so this place was a far cry from anything she’d ever lived in. Now, I don’t recommend the movie unless you love RomCom’s like I do, but this scene has something in it that hints at something I read in John 14:2.

Jesus says: “In My Father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2

I don’t about you but I know I don’t live like I  remember that truth every day, AND I SHOULD! We should! I’m going to let you in on an ugly secret…I hardly ever think about that wonderful truth about our destiny. I did when I first became a Christian seven years ago. Wow, did I think about it then. That was one of the things that I kept right at the forefront of my thinking, the reality that this world – what we see and live in now – isn’t it, and that Jesus is preparing that place for us.

So I’ve had a couple of rough weeks – some things in my control, others not so much. Things have been pressing in, and I have been reacting badly. It seems like all I’ve been doing is blowing it and then saying, “Sorry, God, I did ______ again!”

Here are some excerpts from yesterday’s journal entry:

Saturday, October 15th 8:35am “I’m sorry. I’m still in a rut. I can’t see my way out. You see me. What’s the answer? Where’s the way out? How long will it be like this? Is this really Your will, God? Let me still cling to You. I can’t feel You anymore, and I’m drowning.” 

Quite the “woe is me” journal excerpt, I know. But I also want you to know, it’s not always like this. This walk with Jesus has all kinds of days and seasons. I had bad days/seasons when I wasn’t a Jesus freak so why wouldn’t I have them now? I know God has been trying to get me to stop looking in so much and start looking out, to Him, others, the future, heaven, and maybe that’s why at 5am I had this scene playing in my mind from a movie that has nothing to do with anything really spiritual. I do love the song though. The whole soundtrack is really amazing. It’s Hans Zimmer, so of course!

God woke me up with this movie scene playing in my head as if to say, “It’s going to be better than that!”  Better than we could ever imagine here on earth with our limited perspective and no matter the troubles, the days, the emotions, the dangers, the enemies or “frenemies”, failures, woes, the steps backwards, the highs or lows, HE IS PREPARING A PLACE FOR US. Here’s another verse that just jumped out to me just now to tie up this early Sunday morning blog post:

But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

The challenge: Live like a woman who believes what God says and looks forward with hope in her heart that she will dwell in a perfect mansion in His house.

It’s all about You, Jesus.

Have a blessed Sunday, Everyone. I hope we worship like never before today!

Love, Sonia

Thursday’s News

I’m sitting her with my laptop open and listening to this song right now because I have to (thank you for sharing this, NT): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GQlJbUd_LE

I was talking on the phone last night with a friend to see how she’s doing during a very stressful week, and we were catching up. We talked a little bit about this blog too. I shared my process – that I really don’t know exactly what I am going to write, but I get an idea for a topic or theme. My goal is to be honest with what I am going through, put the saving grace of Jesus on blast for those who haven’t yet listened to the Good News and to encourage all the saints to hang in there!

Today it is hard to write because I opened up the news on my phone and read what’s going on in Israel. It’s hard to think any of my struggles and issues are anything in comparison to what is going on over there because they’re not. You cannot compare – that is terrifying what is happening in the Gaza Strip! These are the times when I think my “little troubles” are less important to God. Sometimes we don’t just compare the good things in life, we also compare struggles and think ours are less then. Don’t get my wrong, I do think we all have to have a healthy balance of “bigger picture thinking” so we don’t fall into the trap of being self-focused, but I also believe that God knows everything about us and thinks all those things are important too.

He has an infinite supply of care and concern for us. He doesn’t just use it up on catastrophes or those we think have bigger problems, or believers we think are better behaved. His goodness runs after all of us – like the song says! That’s how I am going to end this out today. We are loved, and His goodness is for us in every single detail that concerns us. And because He is concerned for us and surrounds us (Psalm 32:7) we can go through this day not gripped by fear and anxiety. We are freed up to pray for others. I know, for me, I am going to be praying for Israel today and for all of us facing private battles that we may or may not ever talk about.

I am also posting a photo from our trip to Israel about five years ago and a video of me from that trip when I just broke out in song in a church with the most exquisite acoustics ever – just couldn’t help myself LOL 🙂

Thanks for reading today! With all my heart, Sonia

JLo and “Againiffer”?

“Monster In Law” Premiere (Stock Editorial Photography)

Happy Wednesday, friends. How’s your week so far? Mine’s alright – lots of things swirling around in my brain already, some great and some not so great, but overall this is the them today: HURT. I am Christian. I became a Christian almost eleven years ago. So when I am thinking about how I processed being hurt before I became I Christian, I just remember never dealing with it. I just walked around with the open wounds in my life and my choices led to adding to my pain. I was living my life just trying to survive and functioning out of a constant myriad of pain. Back then, the pain turned into hardness and numbness. I became more and more cynical, more self- sufficient, more unforgiving, more controlling, more selfish and more and more closed off to true relationships. That’s what survival meant for me then. The hurts of unattended heartbreak made me an untrusting woman and eventually led to immense control issues.

I know…this is a heavy topic for a Wednesday morning, but I was reading the news last night and came across the latest headlines about JLo and how she is now with Ben Affleck. I understand that this might be a publicity stunt or something fabricated like that (putting this in here for my husband who constantly reminds me not to believe everything I read in the news – I get it LOL), but just the fact that she has been married three times, engaged four times and has had numerous boyfriends, leads me to believe this former Fly Girl is looking for love in all the wrong places. Seriously, she just got out of a long term relationship with ARod and now she’s with Ben, and it’s “Againiffer”?! She seems like the woman at the well in the Bible in John chapter 4, doesn’t she? (You can read the story here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%204%3A1-26&version=NIV).

No judgment here, I promise! I can relate – obviously – my blog’s title should clue you in that I know a thing or two about searching for love and ending up hurt until you find yourself at a well under the scorching sun, filled with shame. So, what I have learned about “hurt” since becoming a Christian? Well, the biggest thing I’ve learned is that there is actual healing that leads to wholeness. There really is, but there’s one catch, and the catch is you have to be willing to admit the hurt and surrender it. I totally get that surrender is a complicated term, especially nowadays, but it is true.

I am in a season where deep hurt is a very present reality – just when I think I have forgotten about it, I am struck with a memory or see a photo or something pops up on social media, and I remember…oh yeah, that’s right -there’s the pain. I got hurt, very badly. Thankfully that’s not the end of this blog post. The very amazing thing about being a Christian is that healing is possible – true healing, not like the little instagram quotes that you read one minute and forget the next. My healing process means that I am honest with God about what I am feeling. I journal about it. I am in therapy over it. I talk about it with my husband and only a few trusted friends (if and when I need a sounding board so I don’t toilet paper anyone’s house). I look to God’s Word over it, and most of all these days, I have hope in it. Hope that God will change me more into the whole version of the Sonia that He created. I already see glimpses of this wholeness. Even though the sting of it will pop up, the solidness that is anchoring me to the truth and love of God is indescribable. I just don’t have words for that part of it. I wish I did. I wish I could tell you what this new found strength and trust in the Lord feels like and looks like, but I will say this: you have to be in it to know it, and I invite you – if have never experienced the healing power of Jesus Christ accept it today. Accept Him today! If you want prayer over this just send me an email: sonialvsJesus@gmail.com, and I promise I will pray (and probably cry) with you.

So to all you former or current FlyGirls, Jesus is standing there at whatever old well (or boyfriend) you are staring at, and He is saying “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” (John 4:26 NIV) I pray you don’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime for the healing of all that hurt.

With all my heart, Sonia

P.S. I put the salsa version of “The Blessing” song here since we are all about the Latinas today with JLo & all. Please enjoy and give yourself some room to dance!

It Didn’t Go My Way

Happy Tuesday! I hope you all had a beautiful time celebrating Mother’s Day this past weekend, but if it is a hard holiday for you, I pray you had peace and comfort! As we all know, holidays can be, well, in a word…COMPLICATED. I am going to share a little bit about our Sunday’s family Mother’s Day dinner. First of all, for those of you who don’t know, we have a 28 year old daughter – she’s my only child. She has been in New York for the past months so she was not in town to celebrate with me which already made it not as great as it could have been, but I get it – she’s 28 (I promise, Gabbs, it is fine!).

My dad had texted me during the week and asked if my husband and I would join him, my mom and my sister at a restaurant in San Marcos at 3pm. 3pm on a Sunday can be tough – the strong urge to just lay on the couch usually hits me around that very time! But of course, I said yes so Sunday afternoon around 2:30ish Mario and I got ready to head out the door, and we made it to the restaurant at 3:03pm. My dad is a retired Marine, needless to say, he’s a stickler for time so I thought we were late. We walked into the restaurant and said we had reservations at 3pm. I gave the hostess my mom’s name and my dad’s name. She checked her list and said that there weren’t any reservation with those names. I then had the sinking suspicion that they hadn’t made reservations. My parents had still not arrived by this time so I called my dad, and when he answered he said they were on their way. I explained we didn’t have reservations, and they weren’t taking walk in’s. My parents had me on speaker phone so they were both talking, trying to figure it out. My dad asked if I had any ideas. And I said, “On Mother’s Day?! No – we probably won’t get in anywhere without a reservation!” To say I was irritated is an understatement. I am not proud to confess here that I am a 47 year old woman, and I basically had a full-on tempter tantrum. In the interest of your time and mine, I will spare you all the reasons why my reaction went from zero to sixty but, yeah, it’s historical.

I was all but ready to just hand my mom her card and flowers in the parking lot and head home. You may be thinking this is an excessive response, and I would agree with you. Believe me when I say I am cringing as I am typing this. Mario saved the day with calling another restaurant down the road that could seat us in 25 minutes – so off we went while I was sulking in the car. When we finally got seated my mom said that when we get to be their age we will understand (the oversight of not making reservations). At this point I was a little less aggravated, and we ordered drinks and our food and had the most amazing time.

It was one of those meals that had everything in it – stories, funny FUNNY stories, love, memories, my dad’s non-PC jokes, updates on life, etc. It was special, and my mom even apologized for something years ago. It hit me that I would have missed out on this all because it wasn’t going my way. I would have forfeited this special time if I told Mario to just take me home. I would have walked away from a beautiful opportunity with my family all because of this 16 year old version of myself that sometimes tries to rear her ugly head and navigate my disappointments. It didn’t go my way that day, and I am glad it didn’t. It was better, way better!

I guess the takeaway/theme for today’s blog are the questions, “What Isn’t Going Your Way?” and “How Will You Respond?” Take a moment to think about, pray about and be about responding differently. Breathe, listen, and press in to the uncomfortable new normal of not letting your emotions dictate what your response will be. Bottom line: DON’T MISS OUT ON WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU! I promise it will be better than you could imagine. (Also read Ephesians 4:32 about being kind and tender-hearted – it will hit you right in the heart in the very best way).

And to my parents, I love you so much. Thank you for being you.

With all my heart, Sonia

A Monday Share

Happy Monday! I just read a devotional right now from Our Daily Bread and because the verse referenced is my life verse AND because it’s a beautiful reminder for the week ahead, I am sharing it here. Let His love sing over you today. Let’s tune our ears to His voice singing love and speaking truth over us. Have a blessed day, friends! Tomorrow I have a Mother’s Day story to share with you so stay tuned 🙂

With all my heart, Sonia

Here’s the devotional:

He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

A young father held his baby boy in his arms, singing to him and rocking him in soothing rhythm. The baby was hearing-impaired, unable to hear the melody or the words. Yet the father sang anyway, in a beautiful, tender act of love toward his son. And his efforts were rewarded with a delightful smile from his little boy. 

The imagery of the father-son exchange bears a striking resemblance to the words of Zephaniah. The Old Testament prophet says that God will joyfully sing over His daughter, the people of Jerusalem (Zephaniah 3:17). God enjoys doing good things for His beloved people, such as taking away their punishment and turning back their enemies (v. 15). Zephaniah says they no longer have any reason for fear and instead have cause for rejoicing.

We, as God’s children redeemed by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, sometimes are hard of hearing—unable, or perhaps unwilling, to tune our ears to the exuberant love God sings over us. His adoration of us is like that of the young father, who lovingly sang to his son despite his inability to hear. He has taken away our punishment too, giving us further reason to rejoice. Perhaps we might try to listen more closely to hear the joy ringing loudly in His voice. Father, help us to hear Your loving melody and savor being held safely in Your arms.

By:  Kirsten Holmberg

Mother & Daughter

Dedicated to my sweet daughter, Gabbie

Now more than ever I see the value in living life as bravely and boldly as possible for several reasons but most importantly to be an example to my daughter. Our story as mother and daughter is a long one to tell – too long for a blog post but safe to say, that it is a story of love and grace. I missed the mark quite a bit as a mom, as I was so young when I had her so I pray often for God to show me how to be an example to her now. Things I want to show her:

1. That God loves us and we are created in His image
2. That I am proud to be her mom
3. That true peace is possible
4. That we need to deal with deep things to go higher
5. That hurt is terrible but healing from God is beautiful
6. That doing magnificently brave things is living
7. That music is life (Zephaniah 3:17)
8. That emotions don’t have to rule our lives
9. That God takes away all shame and makes us whole
10. That she is valued beyond what she could ever think or feel

I know I’m not the only mom in the world who has these desires for their children. Maybe you’ve been the best mom. Maybe you’ve been the worst. Either way, God has given us the most precious of all roles as mother to a daughter and it’s never to late to do brave things to show your daughters how to be brave and show God’s love.

So today I just want to say that I am thankful that I am Gabbie’s mom. I am thankful that I get texts with check in’s and questions and love. I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity of a lifetime to show my daughter how to live the life God created us to….it is not about how you begin the journey, it’s about how you end it.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.  James 1:17-18

Have a blessed day!!

With all my heart,

Sonia (AKA Gabbie’s mom)

What’s Your “Brave” Today?

Good morning! It took me a few tries to come up with this title. I don’t know about you, but this week was interesting. Work has been busy, then the cooking, the cleaning, the phone calls – texts, etc. Life, this week, just seemed like it was on super fast forward. All that to say that it felt like so much and so little happened by the end of each day, but I’m thankful it is Friday 🙂

Last night I was talking with some friends, and we were discussing how we are in seasons where we feel God is highlighting things we do in relationships where we worry how we are perceived or if we aren’t going to be liked, accepted – basically, insecurities. Oooh those pesky insecurities! They can choke the very life out of you! Well, anyway the last six months I have felt like I’m on this fast track learning curve to let go of this old survival technique. Relationships are being reshaped, removed and realigned. It seems like I am confronted, on a pretty regular basis, with my own people pleasing tendencies. It has been a stronghold in my life in many more ways than I care to admit.

After my friends left Mario told me a conversation he’d just had on the phone with an old friend of his. His friend told him that someone he had known and considered his friend for 47 years sent him a text telling him to never contact him again because of his political beliefs because they were different from his on every level. The text was full of venom and Mario’s friend was shocked. I have heard of more and more friendships breaking up over vaccine status, political views, racial issues and all the hot topic buttons of the day. People literally hate each other right now. There is definitely an “us” and “them” mentality in every area. What happened to embracing differences, to agreeing to disagree?

Many fans of the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg would know that one of her close friends was her conservative colleague Antonin Scalia. Enjoy this article excerpt from the USA Today article, “Supreme friends: Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Anotnin Scalia“: “

Long before they became federal appeals court judges, Supreme Court justices, travel companions and New Year’s Eve celebrants together, Ruth Bader Ginsburg watched Antonin Scalia speak to the American Bar Association. As she would for decades to come, Ginsburg disagreed with Scalia’s thesis. But, she recalled in 2014, “he said it in an absolutely captivating way. “Thus did the two ideological opposites attract for what became from that day on a close friendship – one their families, friends and colleagues recalled affectionately after Scalia’s death at a Texas ranch in 2016 and again following Ginsburg’s death Friday on the eve of Rosh Hashanah. “What’s not to like?” Scalia said of Ginsburg at that joint appearance six years ago. “Except her views on the law.” Here’s the link to the whole fascinating account of their friendship if you want to check it out:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/09/20/supreme-friends-ruth-bader-ginsburg-and-antonin-scalia/5844533002/

I love that example of friendship in the here and now with that tension of disagreement. They didn’t back down from their beliefs even though they were obviously vastly different, but they liked each other. We are now a culture that screams diversity, but when presented with it we scream at and shame those who don’t agree with us. Okay, sorry, that’s another post for another day.

Getting back to the brave part….what’s your brave? Obviously Ruth and Antonin were brave in presenting their opposing views to each other personally and professionally. Stepping out in faith to take a stance or speak your view on something is a little scary for people (me) who have cared way too much about others opinions. I just want to share God’s truth and love NOW, and you know what…that might not be popular, but it will be BRAVE.

My prayer for you and me today is that we are brave and courageous in how we communicate who we are to the world. That’s loving God, loving yourself and loving others – speaking truth in love. The only opinion that truly matters at the end of the day is the One who made us, and He sees and knows. Hopefully we can be free in the brave today because He loves us. P.S. I put these songs because they go with the theme today. Please enjoy!

With all my heart, Sonia

Dedicated to the Best of the Best: Happy Nurses Day!

Over six years ago I started working at a community college in their health services department as their admin. I went into the job having had several years of experience with healthcare providers already so please believe me when I say I work with the best of the best. Unfortunately I do not have the time (nor the HIPAA clearance LOL) to share the countless stories of selfless care, courage, strength, phenomenal care and help this team has offered students and the community, but let me tell you this – they are the epitome of grit and grace. On many days, these nurses remind me that there are angels in our midst, heroes always present and sacrificial help always available because they are ready and willing to help in every situation they are called upon for assistance.So this post is dedicated to them, for the many seen and unseen ways they help change lives.

This excerpt of the Bible in Exodus 1:15-20 is an incredible example of how nurses protect their patients:

¹⁵ Then Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, gave this order to the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah: ¹⁶ “When you help the Hebrew women as they give birth, watch as they deliver.^[a] If the baby is a boy, kill him; if it is a girl, let her live.” ¹⁷ But because the midwives feared God, they refused to obey the king’s orders. They allowed the boys to live, too.

¹⁸ So the king of Egypt called for the midwives. “Why have you done this?” he demanded. “Why have you allowed the boys to live?”

¹⁹ “The Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women,” the midwives replied. “They are more vigorous and have their babies so quickly that we cannot get there in time.”

²⁰ So God was good to the midwives, and the Israelites continued to multiply, growing more and more powerful.

Clever, capable, courageous….Nurses 🙂 Thank you to the amazing nurses I work with, have worked with and to nurses everywhere. So grateful you chose the vocation of nursing and the calling on your life to help people in need. May continue God bless the work of your hands. Enjoy being celebrated this week! You deserve all that and more!

With all my heart, Sonia

“Be The Reason Another Woman Feels Sunshine, Not Shade”

Good morning! How are you this morning? I’m doing a “sister check-in” right now 🙂 I am tired, another four hour of sleep night. It happens from time to time. I’m on the downside of mid-forties and all the “changes” that comes with, sleep issues being one of them. But I am here and so are you, so I am grateful. The title of this blog is from a post I found on one of the social media sites. I just loved it – so much truth in that statement. We, women, can be shady to each other! God, give us grace!

Mario and I were in the backyard after work yesterday, and I looked up at the trees we planted a year ago along the fence line . I noticed how much the landscape on the embankment behind it has become more vibrant and thick, and I asked if it was because of the trees we planted. There’s a concrete divide between our fence and the embankment behind so they don’t share the drip irrigation we put in for the trees, but I told Mario that I thought they must share something in order to improve so much this past year. Mario mentioned a Radio Lab podcast that he’d heard a while back about that very thing. He sent me the link, and I listened to part of it and was excited to learn there was something to my theory. Here’s that podcast if you want to give it a listen https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/from-tree-to-shining-tree

It got me thinking about this sunshine/shade thing between us women. Maybe it’s because we feel so much, our passion and emotions out in front – whatever it is I hope we learn a thing or two from these trees. Here’s a quote from ecologist Suzanne Simard, “It’s this network, sort of like a below-ground pipeline, that connects one tree root system to another tree root system, so that nutrients and carbon and water can exchange between the trees. In a natural forest of British Columbia, paper birch and Douglas fir grow together in early successional forest communities. They compete with each other, but our work shows that they also cooperate with each other by sending nutrients and carbon back and forth through their mycorrhizal networks.“

I don’t think there is anything wrong with competition. I think it’s necessary to push us further in our potential, but it can get tricky with insecurities, fears, jealousy and the like so we’ve got to keep ourselves in check to not throw shade. If you’re in my age group or above here is the definition of throwing shade according to dictionary.com: it’s “a subtle way of disrespecting someone verbally or nonverbally.” That’s why I was so intrigued to read about these trees and their cooperation and competition. I think that is a perfect balance of challenging and encouraging each other. Something to think about this Wednesday morning. I have to leave this post here just like this because I have to get ready for work now, but I have two videos that I hope you take the time to watch. The first one is a Tiny Desk concert I’m listening to as I type. It’s really good! The second is a scene from the movie Seabiscuit and what competition should look like (notice riders 7 and 9 at about the minute and a half mark of the video clip). That is my hope and prayer for all of us ladies, that we would help and root for one another – win, lose or draw.

Thanks for reading today! With all my heart, Sonia

Don’t believe the hype…believe God

Confession time. I don’t know about you, but the moment I open my eyes in the morning there’s a war going on in my thoughts. A flood of negative reminders and fears come flooding in such as my weight gain, a nagging issue in my marriage, that friend that just isn’t communicating, that person who lied to me, debts that need to be paid off, that family member who just isn’t getting it, the mundane tasks that need to be tended to but are just so UGH, that friend’s scary health issue, and the list goes on and on until I have to literally just tell my mind to stop and then focus in on one truth, and it’s this one: GOD SAVED ME.

Then I can move on and get out of bed and face the day. Some days are better than others, but today was tough. I am running behind already. I don’t have an outfit picked out for work, and I am pretty sure I am going to have a bad hair day. All that to say that I confess I am a mess, but I believe God when He says, “I know the plans I have for you I have for you…plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. He has a divine plan for this day. I don’t know what it is yet, but I am trusting Him. Lord knows I can’t control it so I will believe.

I pray that today is another day of believing God for me and you so we can live and move and breathe in the freedom despite the barrage of thoughts and situations that we face today. We are His, and that makes believing Him possible. Thank you for reading today, and away we go…

With all my heart,

Sonia